What is life? Is it what we believe it to be? Is there a god? Is there evil? Why do i hate myself? Why do i hate life?……well i will answer every question that everyone has without knowing the specific questions. In order to understand what I’m about to write, you need your thinking caps turned on and tuned up all the way, and you must keep an open mind. I’ve eaten from the forbidden fruit of knowledge and I’m sharing the truth. God doesn’t exist and hell is life. I will use common sense, logic, and science and actual facts to prove everything…..in order […]
Tag:
system
Through the system
Into this music
The last-space
If I fall, then I go
Through the vast of the world
But what do I do
Do I really want to go to that
I fucked-up and I need to come back
But how, thrown like a Goat
Zodiac, can I, find, hurled through the planet
Santa, is coming for me
Nobody knows, nobody
I’m all the way out
What is the way out
Armitage is nowhere in sight
Android 16, blow me up, to safety
Where we are, where we at
Thinking through a step
What is the Ultron
What is the Avengers
Horn and […]
Cascade
I wonder, about Matcheux
Machoke, if it a man and
Then who am I
I know who are you
There’s nothing to be do
Haha, all to my system
The wind, making the sound
The magnetism, in the air
Sounds weird, sounds strange
No one will ever
hello everybody.
what would you do if…?
your partner wanted to go his own way, live his own way, cut all the links with people he has known and live as a hermit, wanderer in the forests far away from the human noise?
He was just about to do it when we first met. He’s a man-hater and says he could live without people happily. He despises the whole system, machinery, life full of bans, laws, taxes and doctors.
He often reminds me of his wish and lately, I have been feeling worthless and an idea came to my mind: If I weren’t here, he could have fulfilled his […]
Do you ever find yourself writing letters that you’ll never send? I don’t mean actual pen and paper letters, like maybe written down on your computer or as a draft in your inbox?
I’m doing it more often these days.
I write letters to everyone. Family. Friends. And you.
I think if I went I’d want them to be delivered to people. They are my essence. My everything. I don’t know any kind of post mortem delivery system for the suicidal though.
I find myself staring at the belt more and more. Nothing special. An old brown leather belt. It holds my weight, I’ve checked. So does the bed […]
So. I posted here earlier and I got one comment that really didn’t help. It’s been a weird day for me and quite frankly I’m done. I decided that this Saturday I will loll myself. I failed out of college. My parents won’t talk to me because I told them I was gay. The only person who brings me happiness is my boyfriend. But he deserves someone much better than me. I gave him a ring already. But he can find someone better. He’s a great guy who can make anyone laugh. I have faith.
I have rope and handcuffs. There is a hook I […]
I just wish my sanity would just stay. I hate it when my head plays these games. I wish the panic attacks would just stop. It is not that big of a deal. I’m so insicure and you can see it in my face. I’m so ashamed of it. I wish I could just talk about things instead of bottling it. Instead of dealing with shit I get lost in work. I enterlenize everything. I’m destroying myself. And then the anger. It just builds in my system. It fucking boils. I can’t stand it sometimes. It’s me. I know it’s me and it sucks I […]
“there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.
people so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love.
people just are not good to each other
one on one.
the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.
we are afraid.
our educational system tells us
that we can all be
big-ass winners.
it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.
or the terror of one person
aching in one place
alone
untouched
unspoken to
watering a plant.”
the innate sadness attached to suicide is the brain trying to protect it’s genetic self…
by tinder1972
written by tinder1972
…so as thinking beasts it is our duty to rationalize the shit out of such thoughts and conclude that suicide is nothing more than a choice; no more significant than choosing which shoes to wear on a bright summers day.
Our lives are not that significant in the universal pattern, they are infintely short and rather grotesque affairs. My life is no more important or grandiose than your life, or the life of a perceived saint, we are all part of the same sea, or shit ball, depending on your outlook. Don’t get me wrong, there are good people, and there are definitely bad people, […]
Ok, soap box time.
I have to comment about Brittany Maynard, a terminal cancer patient, and her decision to end her life through assisted suicide. And about Kara Tippetts, who is battling metastatic breast cancer.
First off I wish to say I applaud both women for making tough and brave choices.
That being said Kara Tippetts wrote an open letter that lobbies for Brittany to reverse her decision. Her argument is made on primarily religious grounds.
My point is not who is right or wrong but rather how the argument is made.
If Kara had said in an article/blog that assisted suicide is wrong, fine. […]
I’ve always felt I was brought into this world by mistake, that I was meant to be in some other solar system. I’m just not like other people here. I have no friends, no job, no life. I haven’t really been happy since I was 12 (I’m now 62)
I do think about suicide sometimes, and believe people like Robin Williams are just braver than I am. I figure that at 62 I can’t have many more years of this agony anyway.
I find it very sad to see these posts from 12 and 13 year olds. You are very young and things have a way of […]
I was just going to post a picture on Instagram with the caption being “this has been a crappy day.” Then, I realized I just sounded like an attention whore wanting someone to ask why and understand.
My parents are mad at me. I have a 95% in math. Apparently that’s bad, so they are going to hold a parent-teacher conference. In English i have an 88%. I don’t even know why. My essay was read by teacher as an example paper to the class. I got 7 out 10 right in a pop quiz so it bought down my grade by TEN PERCENT! And on the grading […]
Yeah, that’s right. You heard me. You’re beautiful. No matter what you think, you are. If no one has told you that today, then I will. Because you are. Sometimes it just takes the help of someone else to see that.
Today I was feeling pretty down this morning. It took the help of a friend to pick me up again. I suffer from depression and earlier this spring, I suffered my worst episode yet that ended with me calling the Suicide Hotline at twelve in the morning. Needless to say, I found out that there weren’t any actually resources to help me in my local […]
Last night I came very close to an exit, I was ready, but I’m not sure what made me wait. I know some of it is my business responsibilities, I don’t want to let anyone down but I’m not sure why it matters so much to me? It’s not like their world won’t go on. I have decided I won’t exit in my apartment, I will take a road trip, no cell. I have enough meds stockpiled to shut my system down completely, just add alcohol. I’m so consumed by darkness – I’m physically never going to be well again, the doctors were plain about […]
Well, I’m starting Prozac.
Can you OD on it? Maybe that’ll be a good thing to stack up with my Klonopin, Zoloft, Seroquel, and capsule full of Benadryl/whatever other kind of headache medicine I found in the kitchen (if I do decide to OD…I’m iffy about that type of exit). Although since I’m stopping those two drugs and only taking Klonopin as needed, if I were to take a bunch at once maybe it’ll be a complete shocker to my system. Then again, I seem to be unaffected by meds half the time so I’m probably going to fail in an OD attempt.
I’m so frustrated with my […]
I wonder if I should just remain eternally at 16,
just stopping time in its track before it strikes 12 before the 16th of July.
Should I fufill the promise of 10 years ago,
and put an end to this chapter,
or should I break it to stay?
Time whipping by before my eyes,
this deed long over dued,
I’m living on borrowed time.
To disappear into foam while looking at the sky,
to be one with that nothingness that I loved,
to merge with the being known as emptiness and be non-existant.
Strangely I feel content,calm even,
I’m at peace, I am one with myself,
the summer breeze toys with my hair- and I look out into […]
Most of the good people are not strongest,influential, powerful
All good people are salves to the system, watching it ruined by powerful
I would rather die than slavery
I didn’t ask for any of this. I was born and my path was thrust upon me. I am not looking for your approval or sympathy because I simply no longer give a fuck. I hate people. I started out as a kid does; Innocent and gullible. I didn’t realize that I would be despised by family and friends for recieving gifts that I DID NOT ask for. I don’t believe in evolution but I am not religious in any manner. I was probably the MOST DEPRESSED PERSON on this site a few years ago. I have been here a while… I hate life and […]
–If you are in a system you are not a free man( unless you are powerful, rich, influential)
–If you are out of system and living alone you don’t have a life( because life is real when shared)
–A human is not worth living if he don’t have a life
–Only action a human can do to get freedom is suicide
wish i cud simply pull out a plug and the whole of my system would go into a deep,uninterrupted slumber from which i would never wake up…
i also feel like punishing myself for being so useless… feel like inflicting pain to numb the feeling of helplessness… i did hit myself on the head and now i have a pounding headache but that doesn’t seem enough…
i don’t know what to do… i don’t know if anything would ever work….