I hate the moment when a decision becomes a regret.
I kept telling myself that everything would work out. Â But there comes a point where you can’t lie to yourself anymore. I feel like I’ve dug myself a hole that’s too deep. All the little things that IÂ tried to overlook are surfacing. I can’t reason with myself anymore, I can only see the negative.
It’s suffocating.
I’m 16 next month… i cant take this anymore. I’ve been through so much. I believe God makes our plans before we are born and this is part of mine. I tried telling people but they think I’m being dramatic or I’m not serious. I wish someone understood. My friends know but they cant help me, they tried. I cant help myself anymore. I’ve been harming since 6th grade but it isn’t helping anymore. I’ve become a raging ***** to everyone and i dont know how to stop it. All i do in life is hurt the ones I’m close to and break everything i […]
suicide isnt a joke nor is it a game.thats really fucked up when u make fun of people who cut and shit.ISNT NOT A JOKE OR A GAME stop being fvcking retards and make fun of people who r suicidual or were suicidual….. its not fun i know because now ppl at school ask me whats that on your arm and i say scars and they ask for what and i dont tell them because im afraid of getting bullied!so i know how it feels to get rumors spread about me nd shit because i have been at this school for about 5 months and […]
I’ve been taking 10 advils (ibuprofen) 200 mg each every day and i have no idea why.
I’ve been telling myself that it’s because i like the pain but i know that’s not true
Maybe it’s because it will probably end up killing me. I always wanted to know what it would be like to die
Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, gets to me more than people who don’t understand anxiety and depression, so they treat you like you’re a whiny ***** for everything. If you don’t understand it that’s fine, not everyone does. But don’t go and treat me like a fucking ***** who whines about “stupid shit.” Until you know what it feels like to have parents hate you, “friends” who only stay around because they hope you’ll eventually sleep with them then treat you like you’re less than human because you don’t, been raped, been abused, held a knife to your throat ready to pull it… bottle of pills in […]
I tried to overdose last night…well kinda I tripled the dosage your supposed to take of ibuprofen to see if that would rid the pain i constantly feel…it did though and made me feel good.
I was also called a slut by my best friend and L got pissed at me for taking so much ibuprofen he kept telling me i would die if i took that much and i told him i didn’t care he told me i needed help and threatened to tell my mom. He never did though which is good…i don’t enjoy my mom knowing the pain I’m going through. Also my […]
I started talking to this boy named Michael since I was in 7th grade & he was in 9th.. All was good we went talking off & on, he was so in love with me but we had never officially met in person so I was kind of iffy & kinda pushed him away.. Years pasted by & once I started high school he was a junior of course & me & him started to get close again.. But the times we hadn’t talked he had got a girlfriend & they had been together for 9 months.. & I was sure he was in love […]
i am so tired of having to fake a smile so that other people can accept me, i am so tired of having to pretend that i am tired instead of telling people the truth that i cant handle my life. i am “happier when am sleeping than when i am awake. my dreams keep me going knowing that one day i will jump off from that building. i am tired of getting rejected because i love too easily, now i am afraid to say i love in fear that i will lose someone, i only have one close friend and now like always i […]
So I told my psychiatrist about my overdose a couple weeks ago; they now know of three of my suicide attempts. And each time they haven’t done squat to help me. Yet again I was told of  the dangers it can cause my liver and all that, he asked my how likely it was that I’d try again. I said there’s a 50/50 chance I would. So I was basically telling her that I probably, almost more than certain would do it again. So what did she do? Tell my mum what happened and tell her to remove all medication from the house; […]
Twice in the past week and three in the last couple of weeks I’ve talked myself out of suicide. I don’t understand why I can’t just do it. Everyone I thought were friends have decided they’re suddenly bored of me and won’t really speak to me and the one man who keeps telling me how he’s always going to be there for me hasn’t been lately. My family won’t believe I’m as unwell as I am because they don’t see mental illness as a legit ting. I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep every single night.
I’m just tired.
I was just wondering what people’s thoughts are on having depression and a partner’s appropriate response to it? I get that different people have difference experiences, backgrounds, beliefs etc….
But a recurring theme in my life at the moment is that when someone gets low, or diagnosed, or suicidal, their partner ups and leaves without a word. The only explanation they give is because they cant handle the situation. This happened to me after two weeks of me telling him I was suicidal; it took him only that long to run. A similar thing happened to my sister.
Anyhow, I was just wondering about whether people […]
label me hopeless, label me a coward, label me with whatever name you want to. I’m coming to the conclusion that my life is nothing but a reflection of  the dog shit on the corner of the street. you see.. the more i live the more i begin to realize this and the options i have in order for me to be happy are becoming slimmer and slimmer. Im on the cusp of being homeless and my mom wont help me out. I dont know what i did to make her so angry so fed up, honestly im fed up with myself. alot of things […]
Do you ever get the angry side of being suicidal ? i was just surrounded by people telling me that i’m perfectly fine and theres nothing wrong, the same people who spoon feed me the pills that are designed to basically make you humble in your intolerable situations, and they laugh and poke you as if waiting for a punchline in some massive bloody joke.
my mind instantly went to that place, which most of us probably call home, and i thought.
if i’m willing to end my own life in the most brutal of ways
then what’s stopping me from massacring my current tormentors ?
its a little […]
i kept telling myself that if i got sober all my relationship problems would change. And they did… but not the way I wanted them too. Now that I have relapsed its even worse than before. The arguments the fist fights…. it’s all back ten fold. And now that i rebuilt relationships with my mom and sisters I don’t necessarily want to die because I don’t want to hurt them but I can’t handle this relationship up and down and pain every day. And at the end of it all it’s all my fault for being a selfish addict and no matter how much I […]
I cut because I want to feel. I want to feel the sting of the blade, and then you know how you’re arm feels limp and dead for a little? I enjoy that. I like running my fingers over my cuts, and feeling the bumps along the way down. I don’t cut my wrists; I cut my upper arm. My upper arm is like a journal now, telling stories of my pain, anxiety, and frustrations. I started cutting about a week ago, and I’ve already lost count of my cuts. I hate to say it, but you know when you read that some people get […]
Wonder-Woman. Flash. Green Lantern. Batman. They all fought, when it blasted down to Earth. We were all waiting for that sound. It was bound to hit during the summer, through the oracle’s guide. It was crazy, man. I’m telling you. With the powers and magic of Zatana, and others of the highest kinds. We were able to slowly evacuate the civilians in circumference, the city area, as much as we could, but not everyone was safe, the city cluster was much too vast. For it was foretold of the exact area in location where it would hit down. The “Central City.” Of mass. In his name […]
hi, if your reading this then that means that people actually care, or is interested in my title, but it doesn’t matter any more. I’m tried of hearing people scream at each other, I’m tired of always being afraid of what’s gonna happen next. I’m sick and tired of being screamed at. I hate it the way the people around look at me but they can’t see that i’m drowning because every time I am reminded that i’m a worthless whore that people can always throw away i sink so much deeper than before and i don’t know what to do about it anymore. I […]
I really don’t know what to do I am
in a such a bad way mentally right everything is getting on top of me and I cannot cope with anymore shit. Every time I am in one of these low moods my parents blame and tell me to get over it, my grandma fellas to constantly pull myself together, my friend keeps telling me to call crisis and when i do I get nothing then he suggests I call Rachel or Jenny my cpn and mental health worker. I am in such a bad way right now I feel like actually ending it as as the […]
Everyone else going out with their group of friends. I’m not, because I don’t have any true friend. I’m twenty, and in college, i met two friends, but one was a backstabber, so we’re not friends with each other anymore, so left one friend, but this one friend who stay with me till now, she never made any effort to go out or hang out with me, and it’s been 3 years, so i feel highly that there’s something wrong in this friendship. If she considered me as her friend, not just in college, then why can’t she asked me? because every time i did […]
Little girls, little boys, crying in the corner why can’t you see?
the words written on your skin.
These the words that make you bleed.
they make it so no one wins or succeeds.
All alone in the world, that’s how you see.
that’s how it might be.
So sacred, you want to be left alone.
but it’s so addicting, the things we can create.
The words written, the words hidden.
under jeans and sweaters too big.
this is the life we live.
The cuts, the red lines so addicting
the days so stressful, and cruel
Parents screams, telling you what’s wrong with you.
our only escape, […]
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