Well, here I am in the middle of the night again after another typically fruitless, frustrating day. I struggle to get scraps of work in the only two vocations I have…commercial graphics and photography. Clients have simply disappeared despite my best efforts. What I don’t get is that my stuff pisses all over most of the material I see and I can’t get anyone to hire me at a wage any better than that of a janitor…or they want a degree, screw my experience. And the people who know NOTHING about my business are the first to offer “advice.” Ridiculous, insulting and just puts me […]
I best introduce myself first, I’ve been bouncing on and off with depression for quite some time now and have now reached the age of 34. As a teenager my mates took drugs and i eventually caved in at 14 and started what i thought was a softer drug and began smoking cannabis which then led me onto higher things like magic mushrooms etc. After being led down a life of crime i broke away and became leading an almost normal life over the age of twenty, marijuana being my main fault line. It wasn’t until a few years ago i started recognising the inner […]
I guess I was destined to be this ugly. In my last post, I mentioned wanting to punch my mirror into a bunch of tiny pieces. Part of that has to do with how unbearably ugly I feel. In my opinion, I look like a monkey. My ex called me a trap, which is a term for Tran people who look completely believable as their desired gender. I don’t know. Others say I look cute, gorgeous, like a model, even. I just don’t see it. What do you think?
I’m new to this site, so hello and hi to everyone.
I’m a man in my 40’s based in the UK. Up until 2 years ago I had everything I wanted in my life. It was then that one person’s vitriol cast a shadow over my life, that can never ever be lifted. I’m in a long term loving relationship (15 years), and I’m trusted implicitly by this person, and this person has never doubted me for even a second.
I have decided that I wish to embark on the journey of self deliverance in approximately 3 months time.
Why the delay? I have to prove my innocence […]
For so many years now I have relied on simple pleasures. To help me to get through a day, there is coffee, music, aromatherapy, chocolate, a walk in nature, a refreshing bath…but nothing has long term efficacy. There is some therapeutic value in so many things, but it is not always feasible to rely on a multitude of pleasant distractions each day.
The trouble with this approach is, of course, that these simple pleasures afford me a measure of temporary relief but they do not cure me, though their influence is healing.
I hate the weekends. I have no where to be and the anxiety consumes me. At least during the week I have some responsibility that forces me to function and get distracted from what triggers me. Weekends remind me of my lack of meaningful connections and that my participation is not required or sought after. I often end up self medicating so I can relax enough to sleep or settle down enough to read or watch movies. When that doesn’t work I reach out to people who don’t truly respect me simply for some companionship and pseudo moments of feeling like I am part of […]
Everyone’s moving on without me, into a world I don’t understand -sophie kinsella
Broke is a relative term, like sister, cousin, or Uncle Sam -jarod kintz
Most people who think they’re happy are really just stupid –Tok Kitt
“Dead, but not allowed to die. Alive, but as good as dead.” ? Suzanne Collins
Perhaps depression is caused by asking oneself too many unanswerable questions.
I’m too much of a coward to kill myself. And too much of a coward to live
Sometimes you just gotta hope for the hope of having hope some day.” ? Jeffery Thompson
“Maybe you think life is not worth living, but is death […]
     “I’m sorry.”
Dear mom, I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment. I’m sorry I can’t get good grades. I’m sorry I can’t love up to your expectations. I’m sorry for not being successful.
Dear friends, I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship with any of you. I’m sorry we lose connection for while. I’m sorry I never stayed. I’m sorry for pushing you away.
Dear people at my school, I’m sorry I don’t fit in unlike you do. I’m sorry that I’m weird. I’m sorry that I don’t look as pretty as most girls do.
Dear myself, I’m sorry I was ever born, I’m […]
Well this its my story on how my life is only getting worse And more painful. My name is Matthew and I live in Nelson new Zealand I am 14 years old and am year 10 at Nayland college.
It started around term 3 last year and till this day my life has been torture. In class of I bend over to Tie up my sore laces I get shoved over. If I’m doing sport they spare tackle me from behind. If I sit out to try Getty a break but they say get up and.play you fat Cont. Btw I weigh 78 kg. Every […]
The longer I live, the more I can’t help but think about how everything has the same fate. There’s a beginning, middle and end. From a term in school, a job, relationship, trip to the doctor’s office and even life. Nothing is forever, but plenty of things appear like they should last that long.
Life is composed of all these short lived events. One after another. They all bring different emotions. I want to know which ones are the best experiences that make you want to hang on for another chapter of life?,
To anyone on the outside looking in, I have a good life. A well paid job in which I hold a senior position; a long term partner with whom i have a gorgeous 4 yr old; a nice home in a quiet, cosy community.
But the turmoil inside me is indescribable. That well paid job? I’m close to losing it because my various depression symptoms are impeding my ability. That long term partner? I’m scared to talk to him about how I feel because he just keeps telling me to suck it up and get over it. My gorgeous child? She is the only reason I’m […]
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