I hate my brain. I just thought you should know if your brain is telling you that you should kill yourself, you’re not alone. If your brain is trying to  give you images and visions of how great it would feel to tighten that rope around your neck and you know that its wrong, you are not alone. They’re really seductive right? These thoughts are the true “siren’s call”; a call for eternal peace and an escape from pain. I’m lucky though. I have a thought that I’ve trained myself to repeat. It is this, “Today is a test. Tomorrow might be a test too. But it […]
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Test Tomorrow
The pressure is building, and I am about to fucking explode, but I know that if I cut then I’ll be alright even just for a little bit while I stain my arm red. I want to die. But if death would bring me peace then I don’t deserve it. I can’t feel anymore. Does this make sense? I have gone completely numb. All i have is the memories of the actual emotions. but it’s almost as if they are scratching the surface, and maybe if I cut they’ll come seeping out so i can feel again.
Why am I so alone. I feel so empty. […]
so another great day at skool… i shut myself down during my first class and couldn’t function mentally.i found out that next week sometime i will have to disect a frog… the only problem is that im afraid of the fact i will be holding a sharp object and i will have to fight my impulses. so after that somebody handed me a stapler… you have no idea how much i wanted to staple my fingers… just to feel the pain, to know i was still alive still human. thats one reason y i cut myself… to know im still alive and human. so my […]