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what a great day

by justwannahelp112

so another great day at skool… i shut myself down during my first class and couldn’t function mentally.i found out that next week sometime i will have to disect a frog… the only problem is that im afraid of the fact i will be holding a sharp object and i will have to fight my impulses. so after that somebody handed me a stapler… you have no idea how much i wanted to staple my fingers… just to feel the pain, to know i was still alive still human. thats one reason y i cut myself… to know im still alive and human. so my science teacher unintentionally did me a huge favor… we r having a state required test tomorrow and the rest of this week and so we were getting in our seats for the test… i sit alone in the back of the room so i dont have to answer anyone who sits next to me and asks if im ok… and you know how i respond ” no fuckmonkey!!! im not so leave me the FUCK alone!!!” i normally only say that in my head…by the end of the day all i wanted to do was curl up in bed with my laptops and talk to you people… my head is throbbing, i feel like crying, and i hate everything except the people who love me(i hope you people love me as a friend)

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7 comments

Duke of Marmalade 5/7/2012 - 5:03 pm

Yes, we do.

justwannahelp112 5/7/2012 - 5:25 pm

thanks….

Duke of Marmalade 5/7/2012 - 5:36 pm

That’s ok. You gave me a new word to use at work tomorrow. ‘fuckmonkey’.

justwannahelp112 5/7/2012 - 5:39 pm

lol that is my favorite word… my teacher asked me what my fav. word was and i said fuckmonkey and my class got silent and it was so fucking funny!!!! the word has many different uses!!!!!

suicidetalk 5/7/2012 - 5:40 pm

I have cut myself in the past and I do have moments where I want to hurt myself in any way possible. Maybe this is not how you think, but I found a post by “the Guardian” to be very helpful with this problem.Here it is: http://suicideproject.org/2012/05/the-cutter/I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

determined_rebel 5/7/2012 - 5:46 pm

I hope everything turns out ok. I have to fight impulses all the time in public but I don’t fight them at home.

Duke of Marmalade 5/7/2012 - 5:54 pm

Hmm, I’m a totally different person at work too. I’m very quiet but no one annoys me just in case I snap and call them a fuckmonkey.

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