what a great day

so another great day at skool… i shut myself down during my first class and couldn’t function mentally.i found out that next week sometime i will have to disect a frog… the only problem is that im afraid of the fact i will be holding a sharp object and i will have to fight my impulses. so after that somebody handed me a stapler… you have no idea how much i wanted to staple my fingers… just to feel the pain, to know i was still alive still human. thats one reason y i cut myself… to know im still alive and human. so my science teacher unintentionally did me a huge favor… we r having a state required test tomorrow and the rest of this week and so we were getting in our seats for the test… i sit alone in the back of the room so i dont have to answer anyone who sits next to me and asks if im ok… and you know how i respond ” no fuckmonkey!!! im not so leave me the FUCK alone!!!” i normally only say that in my head…by the end of the day all i wanted to do was curl up in bed with my laptops and talk to you people… my head is throbbing, i feel like crying, and i hate everything except the people who love me(i hope you people love me as a friend)