you know your born into this world and for the first copal of years of your life you think hey what could go wrong? sadly you soon start to open your eyes and see the world for what it really is i don’t know much about any of you just anonymous bloggers like me i guess but i know one thing death is unavoidable wether it is from natural causes a tragic accident or self inflected. sometimes you don’t want to die other times you know your ready like me i know i want to die i know that theres nothing anyone can do to […]
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the world
Is it possible that there is a force bigger an even more capable of destroying me than just the society, the world and human beings this planet is.. Like the saying I have heard and used so many times before ‘the universe is against me’ Maybe yes it is yes it really is. I have tried so many times through my life to try and figure out why…. why me, why is this it, why was I born. what is the point of all this the point of life well maybe there is really no point who ever came up with everyone has a purpose […]
My name is Jammy, I used to write a lot, i used to read a lot, i used to draw, paint and climb everything i looked, I also used to pull my hair, crash my head against the wall or fight my siblings when i was mad, and all nights i used to cry until i felt asleep, Mom couldn’t look at me when she came tired from work so she used to send me to the backyard at nights, first I was scared (just as every kid would) but then I start it to like, i enjoyed it being there but that wasn’t normal […]
So for the past year or so ive been thinking about a suicide daily, life’s so hard at the minute.. my ex girlfriend lives two doors down from me which im still madly in love with and think about her daily. its so messed up for me i mean i can get off my bed and look out my window and her windows there.. recently lost my job. can honestly say i have just one friend and shes 41. no male friends. no interaction with girls. removed my fb account the other week. and on top of everything i have a cyst on my bollock […]
today my mum and dad sat me down, and asked what was going on. they said ive been ‘acting odd’. i tend to shut myself out from the world. spending most of my time going on walks with music blasting in my ears, or just simply staying in my room, door locked, music blasting, and staying in bed all day. they don’t understand. its a big world out their. my anexity is climbing the walls. im just a mess.
Fuck. That practically sums up my past 7 years. I’m 16 years old and a junior in high school and I have given up. I’ve always wanted to go out, explore the world. But, there are certain things stopping me. I’m a pathological liar, and I have ruined every opportunity to make peace with my parents. I’m failing (all) my classes, I don’t have any type of extraordinary features, and I don’t believe I am worth saving. I have constantly wanted to commit suicide, but I never had the balls to do it. The couple times I did, I failed horribly. I don’t know if […]
I often found myself on this site, in my darkest days when i’d thought i didn’t want to live anymore. I have tried to kill myself 3 times by overdose. I just can’t describe the feeling i have to anyone, i literally battle every single day of my life with suicidal thoughts. Next year i will be 20 and i have never felt loved by anyone in my entire life, sure i have a boyfriend and to the outside world he probably seems caring and loving, yet somethings missing. I have told him the way i feel and the things that i feel would make […]
Yesterday was definitely the icing on it type of day. In a nutshell:
1. Still stuck in the world’s longest divorce.
2. Spouse had a baby with their new partner (I can’t have any more)
3. My new partner is an alcoholic and spent the day in a stupor
4. Had my previously good credit destroyed by ex’s credit card that has gone to collections
5. I was never joint on the card, yet it ended up on my record.
All of these above probably seem like nothing, yet these little hurts piled onto an already covered up person. The first, Le Divorce, came expected after I caught him texting a […]
Ever since I was in 7th grade I’ve been feeling suicidal. I’m a 15 year old girl who’s a sophmore now. I feel like I can’t take it anymore I’ve been bullied all of my middle school life even by my english teacher who encouraged my 8th grade classmates to make fun of me. I had moved from that school but the comments and memories won’t go away. People never understand they tell me to get over things when I need to be in a mental hospitoal and get medication. Even the person who was closetest to me(my ex boyfriend from middle school) has left […]
Everyone tells me that I’m so lucky, so smart, so attractive. I have everything apparently. But there’s more to life than that superficial crap. In life you need only one thing: a place to belong. This is the thing that I don’t have.
I had a bunch of friends that I thought cared about me. I was wrong. They all stabbed me in the back. I asked them to go easy on me because I thought I was becoming depressed. They told me to grow up. Depression is for children, apparently. Anti-depressants only make me sleepy. I guess the objective is to just sleep your life […]
Sometimes I really wish to disappear for a while
I feel so lonely . Not really that I have no friends
its that I think no one will devote all of them for me
i am willing to prepare and spend a lot of effort for my beloved ones . But I just think no one will do the same for me
no one will actually treasure me and put me as their priority
I have bff and bf . But I’m just confused of my importance to them
Also I got a lot of stress from my schoolworks
im going to take the public examination and I have to work extremely […]
Reality sucks, Reality suck, Reality boring, I hate Reality, boring Reality, Reality is boring !
by niki
written by niki
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
Hi. I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really like talking to people about my suicidal tendencies, mostly because the people I need to share this with and want help from, are the people that don’t want to hear anything about this.
I don’t see a max on the amount of characters permitted, so I guess I’m going to tell you my whole story..
I was born on the 15th of April, 1994, in Milan, Italy–I am 100% Italian, with both parents being Italian. Apparently, according to my mother, I wasn’t planned.. you see, the thing with my mother is that she likes to blame […]
Anyone else?
Like that many gods are currently walking the earth, with special powers bringing about miraculous change in the world.
You dear reader, may be one for all I know.
My life on this planet so far has sucked in a big way and I frequently want out, but I have committed myself instead to trying to create a new world from the ashes of the old.
I have seen many visions and dreamed many dreams. My ‘crazy’ reality is way realer than what this mundane existence would indicate.
I’m here because I want out of all of this shit every bit as much as any of you. But […]
This is for You
Because you should know you matter to me, even if it doesn’t matter to you.
What might be missing, and that’s likely a lot, is not a reflection on You, and is just the lack of my skills to put thoughts into words.
After all how could I ever be able to adequately explain how much you mean to me
I see you.
You’re hiding in plain sight, because you think no one will or can see you. How you shrug when someone moves to close. You sob under your breath, thinking no one will bother to notice. The dried up lines, […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Why did they choose white.
I can’t even sit in a new, freshly “neutral” white painted. apartment for 5 minutes, without the greatest feeling of discomfort anymore.
Hospitals, Institutions, Doctors, Lights, all rooms and hallways, even the freaking beds and gowns and the stupid little wristbands…
Waking up, and the first thing you see is that awful white ceiling, blinking your eyes just to make sure it’s real, because it’s not the ceiling you saw when you closed your eyes. A slight panic might creep up, how can that be?, “where am I?”
Turning your head around, just to pan over more of the white, walls, […]
These are the nights and the lights that we fade in
These are the words but the words aren’t coming out
They burn because they are hard to say
For every failing sun, there’s a morning after
but I just wanted you to know
that the world is ugly
but you’re beautiful to me
and are you thinking of me
like I’m thinking of you
though I really need to go
I just wanted you to know
“Little girl messed up inside
Wished that she had wings to fly
Away from sadness
Away from pain
Away from all the things they said
But when the darkness comes at night
She tears down the walls inside
Little girl messed up inside
Told me there are reasons why
She takes the blade into her skin
Killing demons deep within
But when the sunlight sets to rise
Still she wishes she could die
Little girl messed up inside
Cries and pleads, asking why
Some just die without their will
But some can’t even settle, stay still
Without the urge to end it all
Only wanting to […]
Does anyone else really dislike activists?
I suppose what I really mean is zealots in general, whether its religious, political, or ideological. Just anyone that is so completely convinced in their own beliefs for any cause that they are totally uncompromising and fanatical about it. Just the self righteous arrogance of it. Obviously we all have our own beliefs and obviously since they are our beliefs we think they are the correct beliefs. If we didn’t think they were correct we wouldn’t believe in them. So I find it annoying when people are so passionate about their own dogma that they constantly have to proselytize about […]