what would it look like if I committed suicide tonight. I’m not even sure how I would do it. I don’t have a gun, which is the safe bet. That doesn’t leave a lot of choices – drugs, cutting, not sure what else. and to complicate matters, I have a dog. What would she think? What would she do? I’m not expected to be anywhere until about 9 AM on Tuesday (it’s 8:34 PM on Saturday night) so she would be alone for a long time. How long would it take for people to search for me? […]
think
What hurts is waking up everyday, hoping it will be different. Hoping that someone will treat you perfectly, and that no one is going to fight. It hurts to wake up and walk around knowing that one day you won’t be here, and that it won’t change anything. Everyone will move on, (if anyone even cared to begin with), and it won’t affect the tiny, seemingly perfect and mysterious subject that is ‘life’. It hurts to wake up from a dream where you were loved with the deepest love imaginable.
-But what hurts the most?
Spending every second of your life in full realization that everyone thinks you’re […]
My life is falling apart, things that I didn’t think could hurt me have managed to get inside my head and I don’t know how to get rid of them. I haven’t open up to anyone because just the thought of it terrifies me. I’ve only ever opened up to one person in my life, she was a therapist and she ended up lying to me and sharing my secrets with people who she knew I didn’t want to hear them.
Standing here
all alone.
Everyone left me.
I’m on my own.
what did I do?
What did I say?
To make them go
so far away.
Nobody wants me.
They don’t care.
They say mean things,
and give an evil stare.
IT really hurts,
inside and out.
I just want one thing
to change my life’s route.
I want someone to love me.
One who’s life i’ll share.
Someone who’s always with me.
Someone who’s always there.
I know who it is.
It’s always been you.
So kind so brave so bold.
The one who’s always true.
I want you in my life.
perhaps one […]
I’m twenty-one year old guy from the UK. I have anxiety, I get depressed, and I have suicidal thoughts. I use to self-harm but don’t anymore. I also think I might have a personality and body dysmorphic disorder. I’m on a waiting list to see a psychologist, so hopefully that happens soon. I don’t usually talk depressingly with others, but I am more than willing to lend an ear if you wish to chat about things that are bothering you. It would be nice to also talk about things we like.I like outdoor activities, but I don’t get out much, partly due to anxiety and […]
This is my second post on this site and again I am speaking of my girlfriend that broke up with me a few months ago. For a background on the situation please read my previous post to save me explaining it in this one.
So far life has got worse and worse, the last time I was happy was October 19th last year when I took her to a hotel and the rest for her bday which was on the 6th but I was busy working (to get more money to spend on her for her bday). I hadn’t spoke to her since the 12th of […]
Someone asked me that today, and I had no valid answer to give. The truth is I don’t know why, I don’t know why I have such a hard time doing the right things. I can have every reason to walk away but I always find that tiny reason to stay and I cling on to it. I can know that the situation is completely wrong and I know that I am hurting myself by clinging to that bit of hope. Yet I still hold on for dear life and I don’t truly know why. Maybe I’m afraid maybe I’m absolutely terrified of accepting the […]
I distract myself, i try to move away from everything but in those moments when ii dont get sleep and all i can think about is everything, that loneliness, the complete sense of failure within me and i realize that if this is life now, the future will not be any better. I’m looking for a way to end this existence because i cant continue any longer..
I love Star Wars. Somehow I made you more into it.
I remember when we were talking, I told you I was 100% dark side. You told me you were not. “I’m a good guy” he said. So I laughed and said : I like bad boys. he replied: well, breaking your heart would be evil. He said smiling.
I smiled back, but then I started to think about it.
And after a while, you finally did. You broke my heart.
welcome to the dark side my rebel scum.
Wow, where to begin? I guess i can start off by saying this is not normal for me. Iv always been that girl that’s strong when nobody else is. Iv had straight As through high school and iv participated in a lot of sports and other activities. Iv been through many relationships, being dumped and doing the dumping. I lost the love of my life about 4 months ago, he was my rock, my support. He came into my life when things weren’t good at home, just when i was ready to say i couldn’t take it anymore.. the last 3 years iv depended on […]
I want to ask your opinion about seeking / talking to a professional. I never go to one. My mother asks me to go to a psychologist / psychiatrist. But I am afraid to pour out my deepest heart to a complete stranger. I feel embarrassed. I am also afraid that he/she will declare me as just an attention seeker. (Am I? I don’t know the answer. I don’t think I am but if a professional says so, who am I to counteract) It has happened before. I opened myself to some people in authority, and they ridiculed me and brushed me off as attention […]
Are you ready to sell it?
How much do you think you can value your life for?
What if so called leaders did a blunder and sold earth for $xyz? —
Hence, I believe humans are stupid because they choose some humans as super humans and call them as leaders
What if newton show-up and say there is nothing called gravity and all 3 rules are bullshit. Same way as Stephen hawking did “all black-hole concept is wrong and there is new thing called grey-holes”
Therefore if you wait for other human to save you, your life worth zero.
It’s funny how the people that were so called their for u but at the end your by your self ur probably so hurt that u don’t even know wat to do either to kill yourself or overcome your self and I find it really hurtful wen u know u been thur so much yet no body could see that they just think u thank happy girl or boy but once u let one person in and u tell them ur reall life and they go n tell people ur stuff and then seconds ur called a slut or fag or nothing but no body […]
How do other people manage? Â Going about the mindlessness of life. Â I guess they drink themselves silly and distract themselves with other meaningless things. Â Squabbles over stupid crap or finding something they can say serves as an interest or something they can tell an interviewer they do in their free time. Â Even though all of this essentially serves no purpose, at least they have other people and money and can put aside for a moment the general zombification of being a wage slave, the growing dissatisfaction with Western life.
I can feel the pain building inside me, even though they’ve tried to numb me to it. […]
I think I’m finally going to do it. Been depressed for too long. I’m 31 year old gorgeous woman with no kids but it doesn’t seem to matter. Every guy I date leaves me for some reason. The last guy I went out with left me because I’m a bartender for a living. Even though I make great money he doesn’t think I have a future. I’m sick of seeing all my friends getting engaged. I’m sick of everyone moving forward with their lives but me. I feel like a worthless loser who will be alone forever. I’m too depressed to try to change it. […]
I am an Army veteran. I joined up to help people. I ended up getting hurt in the process. I am now out of the army and have a wife and child. I can’t stop thinking about the tour I done or the people I lost. I know I’m supposed to move on and care about my wife and child first and foremost, but, I don’t. I love them, but, I can’t feel for them like I guess i should. My thoughts are always focused on tour and I am often angry. I get so angry I scream. Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m […]
So much self doubt that I will survive these suicidal urges. Even my therapist is really worried about me. I can’t get suicide off my mind. Lately some issues have resurfaced that have caused me to start burning again and have me thinking of suicide almost constantly. These issues include relationships(romantic),fear of abandonment/rejection,boundaries,self hatred,etc…I keep having dreams/nightmares about suicide and think about suicide all day long. I watch videos on how to do it,videos about people who have committed suicide,videos about people who have survived suicide attempts and listen to songs about suicide. Several times lately I have had the knife to my wrist ready […]
Personality Test – Choose any Tree and check your Personality… ^_^
Look at the tree and choose the one that is immediately most appealing to you.
Pick your tree before you look at the results!
Don’t think about it too long, just choose, and find out what your choice says about your personality, please have FUN and share your choice in the comments below…
The results!
You are a generous and moral (not to confuse with moralizing) person. You always work on self-improvement. You are very ambitious and have very high standards. People might think that communicating with you is […]
Damnit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let myself hope and think that it’s going to be ok? How do other people handle it? How do they just move on from people, how do they keep breathing and living and laughing? I need serious help, because it’s clear that I’m not getting better. And I don’t know what to do. I’m scared.
So I started my first day at work experience today. And I can already tick off things I have already done to humiliate myself. Â And yes, I timed each thing and wrote it down in a journal.
9:12am: I started to think they were watching me with all these hidden cameras and shit (I think this all the time, I even think there are hidden cameras in my house so people can spy on me).
9:35am: I had a panic attack because someone asked me where hamster food was.
9:52am: I had another panic attack because someone asked about collar […]