Hi, some of you may remember me, some may not, I am Rogue, the one who wanted so badly to join the army. well I had gone through the Military Entrance Processing Station. I did my oath and signed a bunch of papers pledging my loyalty. Little did I know that, until this night at around 9 pm, my mom informed me that there is little to no chance of quitting the army. After a quick 10 seconds of tears as I am having trouble letting them flow, and a few breaths of hyper-ventillation, I realize how fucked I really am. Now there are quite […]
I feel that every time I say that, someone always says “Yes, someone cares, you just can’t tell” or something like that.
But it’s true, no one would care. I’ve been sent to numerous foster homes. It’s like a return at a store. You get a confident girl who is smart and good at soccer, and you return a beat and battered girl who just didn’t fit your family.
Yeah, it’s like I’m someone’s property.
Then I have my friends. Two are dead, one is dying. I’m just great at choosing friends. The rest hate me. After the first time I tried to kill myself, the were very comforting and […]
I kind of thought that I summed up the feeling of cutting, but I’d like to know if it seems right, because it does for me.
The slices on my wrist hurts
Yet I continue to feel pain
I don’t feel anything, not yet
Go deeper, hurt more, fresh blood.
My thirst quenched but the want
Grows more until I give in
Go another round, getting more high
The touch squeals with untimely pleasure.
I take a breath and sigh
A sweet moan escapes into darkness
As fresh blood sweeps me away
Dripping onto the newly bleached floor.
Drip-Drop, Crack-Smash, loud banging
On the bathroom door, begging me
To stop but I do not stop
No I keep playing this roulette.
Suddenly […]
Had a rough few days. I’m so drained, and still have things to take care of. Crying every now and then. Music by my side, stuffed animal by my side. I do not hunger and I do not thirst. I just sit here like a brick as I keep moving forward. I read a an old posted link and It made me realize I am not as good as I thought. While other want to fight but don’t know how I’d just like to get away from everything. Away far away. I don’t know where that is. But it’s what I want. And just like […]
Sometimes it seems to me my blood gushes
like a fountain, in rhythmic sobs,
I hear it flowing with long murmurs,
but I grope in vain to find the wound.
All across the city, as in a field of honour,
it spills out, transforming paving stones to islands,
quenching Every creature’s thirst and painting all nature red.
Often I have asked strong wine to numb for a day the terror consuming me: