So a friend has been talking with me in WhatsApp for the last week. We hadn’t seen each other for months, and I had stopped talking to her months ago cause she didn’t reply.
So she has been talking to me this week, and today she called me crying. And, stupid as I am, I immediately drove to see her.
I could feel her pain, and I could relate to everything she was telling to me, as I feel it myself. But it just felt so wrong to be there for her even when she’s never there for me…
I was so happy yesterday. I had a drink with some friends and they were so surprised and happy to see me ok. I had a good time.
So I can’t understand why I woke up today wanting to die, and why all the problems seem so big that I’m afraid to even think about them.
i hit a weight point today i guess (im not even sure what its called) and i dont know how to feel about it.
i’m a healthy weight now and my BMI is great and all but like i dont know
i guess i found some comfort in being underweight i guess and i know its fucking stupid and pathetic
but like being underweight for me was being skinny
being able to have a small waist and shit but now that im a normal weight im not skinny in my mind anymore and its just such a fucking drag
I stumbled apon this page today while desperately searching for an explanation to my constant desire to end my own life. The posts that I have read thus far have touched my heart and soul in ways i cannot imagine, i relate to so many of these posts. As i have just mentioned I found this page today so this is my first post.
I am a 20 year old university student, on the forefront i seem like I have the world figured out and a future most people only dream of but here is the truth: I am alone in this world that has been […]
Less than a year ago, I had, of what I can say, the lowest point of my life. Every single night, tears were streaming down my face; it engraved canyons in my cheeks. Every single night, I look at the stars and wish everything would just come to an end. Every single night, I ask myself, “Is it wrong to enjoy what life can offer me? ”.
There were so many things I’ve been going through that I’ve kept to myself for so long because I couldn’t let it all out. I didn’t speak up and didn’t make a big deal out of it so […]
I have decided to go ahead with it. Today is day 1 of death by dehydration. I will go for a long run tomorrow and thursday to speed up the process and will only eat dry food.
Wish me luck, Ill post my progress day by day 😀 look for me in th news guys 😀
He did it. He told. Now everyone knows my “dirty little secret”. people have barely talked to me today, and when they do it’s “hey is it true?” “Are you emo?” “haha you’re a freak” i just fucking love life -.-
Losing my mind with this solitary life. People say they care. If they cared then where the fuck are they? I’ve been abandoned by everyone I called a friend. Another day trapped in this world. Another day of dreaming for an exit.
I just don’t know how things got this way. Everything is so fucked up.
You will wake up feeling good, maybe not today, or tomorrow or anytime soon. But one day.
Mum asked me today if I have any plans for next week.
No mum, nothing much.
Yes mum, I’m going to kill myself if you give me half a chance.
I want to comfort her in advance but she’d stop me.
I have to do this for myself…
Or die trying.
That’s the idea anyway.
I’ve just realised something today. Something truly horrible. To me at least.
In nearly 5 months the only people I have seen are my family. Literally the only people I’ve interacted with are the four members of my family.
5 months ago I probably saw 20 different people a day.
It’s funny how things change.
I wrote today to my doctor… and she mentioned that I have ” somatical-mental indisposition” what does this mean?
I can give more information after someone answered then I explain why or not it an accurate diagnosis.
standing at the bus stop and a guy pulled over and gave me his number… just a little perk that made me smile today.
its the little things that pull you through.
Shame its effect didn’t last long before the thoughts came back…
On March 26th, I will be doing two things:
1: Turning 60 years old
2. Standing on the Golden Gate Bridge
I’ll keep you posted…..or not…….
i’m laying in bed watching Grey’s Anatomy because I can’t with life. I can’t deal with it, i don’t want to talk to anyone. i don’t want to be anywhere.
Good morning – I have been lurking for a couple of months and decided to come out into daylight today (blink blink). Things are not going great for me right now and I thought talking about it might help me figure out what I’m doing.
I am a 46 year old professional female (too old to be feeling this way?) and have been pretty lucky in my life, work-wise. The rest of my life is and has always been kind of a disaster. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and refractory depression. Fits. Growing up, I was sexually abused from the time I was […]
i focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real
it’s been 5 years since i last marred my pale skin,
gave it some bloody color
i sat there and cried
only knowing one thing for sure,
knowing i dont wanna know.
i sat there and smoked through 2 marlboro black 100s
pressed against me
flesh bubbly like a teenager high off their first crush
and when the light on the tip of my smoke started to dim, almost going out,
i’d take it away, take a hard pull, breath in the horror deep and slow
and then push it back against me,
harder than before.
i think i might be ready to go now
Lost my last friend today
No family no friends all goneeeeee
No reason to live
Im worthless friends always leave me for a reason
Fuck it alllllll
So I start my position as assistant manager today and I just did a shot of heroin in front of the cameras. It’s sad that a hardcore drug addict has a better work ethic than all of these normal people. I feel bad when I get promoted over people that have been with the company for years and I havent even been here a year.
We’re all little dust particles, none of us really matter in the end, but we can enjoy floating in the sunlight
Until the sky clamps shut and we fall to the floor in dark water
Shit, I didn’t take my pill today, what the fuck am I thinking
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