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i dont know anymore

by deadlynights
written by deadlynights

i’m actually so totally done. i keep fighting with my mother, and i can’t get along with any of my friends unless we’re getting high together. my dad, the most important person to me and my only hope to get out of this hell with my mom, has decided he doesn’t want me full time. i’m now way behind in school and i’m late every class and i can’t seem to get anything right.

i’m 14 and i already am willing to die. if someone handed me a gun right now, i’d point it at my head and shoot. but life isn’t that simple and i’ll […]

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Thanks and everything

by KCB
written by KCB

Why is such a site appealing?

Don’t know, but it is.

Thanks for having it.

I have not been thinking of suicide for the past couple of years, but in the last couple of months yes.

The same old thing–how do I make it look like an accident (insurance money) and yet guarantee that it’s successful and not too painful?

In Switzerland, you hear about the occassional bicycle rider who gets hit by a car.

But you know at 48, I have managed to live with depressed thoughts for a long time.

I see all these young people on this site and I cannot imagine how they can feel so down.

In my […]

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push

by Madison
written by Madison

our life is together
our life has been forever
our time is never
never ending

places to go, things to do
words to speak
songs to sing

tears to cry

i tried so hard to make you proud of me
all i want is your love

im so alone
and so sad without you

am i dying?

i need you
i need my family

i just want to be happy

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To all girls on SP

by ravanys
written by ravanys

To all girls on SP. What would you do if you broke up with a guy you met right here and was together with for almost a year?
Would you block him and ignore him?
Would you try to forget about him?
Would you erase him from your life?

From my personal experience, the answer is yes. I still want to die even though I know it’s not the answer..

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A title

by xylem
written by xylem

I feel like my life is just a series of bad days strung up together in one endless cycle, I can’t seem to escape.
It is like you wake up with a hang over to realize you’re late. You stub your toe on the way to the bathroom, and you realize there is no hot water for a shower. You get stuck in traffic, then there is no place to park and your boss gives you hell that day. You’re doing a mind numbing, meaningless job to pay the bills for the things you don’t really need. No body gets you at work, you wonder […]

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Happy Valentine’s Day

by LetItGo
written by LetItGo

For me Valentine’s day is a day which I love. Why? Because I, myself can give out love. Can make the people around me know that I truly love them. That I’m here for them no matter what. That I will help them. That we will fight together on any issue they have. But in a way I hate it. Why? Because all I want is to be loved. Loved by someone who won’t break my heart. Loved by someone who will help me through this. Loved my someone. Just loved. Is that too much to ask for? It’s all I ever […]

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I’m not suicidal anymore

by Shaynax
written by Shaynax

I just miss and crave the not so occasional drinks that would lead to reckless behavior because at this moment when I want to feel something I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. I’m not suicidal but I know that what I am feeling leads up to it. And no one can know. Everyone had their life together again but me. I feel so alone. I literally don’t feel like I belong in my own skin. I don’t like anything that I am right now or have become these past few months.

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by LetItGo
written by LetItGo

i dont know anymore. i thought i could recover. i thought i can hold it in and just keep it to myself. to just keep it in all of it. all of the secrets. all of the lies. all of the masks. but i dont know. i dont know if im close to breaking all together. i dont know if im close to just going. i dont know if im close to jumping. i dont know if im backing away from the edge. i dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what personality is which. i dont which smile is which. i dont […]

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“I Go Back to May 1937” by Sharon Olds

by khajiit
written by khajiit

“I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges,

I see my father strolling out

under the ochre sandstone arch, the

red tiles glinting like bent

plates of blood behind his head, I

see my mother with a few light books at her hip

standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks,

the wrought-iron gate still open behind her, its

sword-tips aglow in the May air,

they are about to graduate, they are about to get married,

they are kids, they are dumb, all they know is they are

innocent, they would never hurt anybody.

I want to go up to them and say Stop,

don’t do it—she’s the wrong woman,

he’s the wrong man, you are […]

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Just Keep Pushing? I Think Not

by Greenz
written by Greenz

As a child, and indeed as a teenager, and even now, I’m mostly a loner. I never really sought out the company of other people, for whatever reason; and having a disability that carries lots of myths that people actually believe hasn’t really helped with friends. In elementary school, I quite clearly remember being lumped in with a group of people with learning disabilities, with the premise that I could make friends with other “disabled” people. Being nine or so, it didn’t bug me much; indeed at the time it did seem like a nice gesture. But, as I said, I’m […]

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My story

by Sir White
written by Sir White

I’m struggling with my own life and most of the time i think that everyones life will be a whole much better if i’m not around, so most of the time i feel like self harming or just ‘falling’ of a building because yes they will be sad but after a few days they wont even remember my name, for most of my life i have been bullied for being different and i never feel like i fit in any where even when at home, when i was young my parents kept agueing and then they split up and seeing my mum go pretty much […]

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