I am over 50 years old. I’ve thought about suicide since I was 13. I have made attempts to end my life more than a couple times. The thoughts, planning, and so on have been so much a part of my mentality, I believe it has become a bad habit, habitual though process. The last stint of actively engaging in therapy my goal was to get new thoughts. I’ve tried. Truly I have tried to get along in the land of the living. When I make an attempt to interact / communicate with my loved ones, I continue to fall short – and immediately go […]
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Train Of Thought
I don’t really believe my story is one of suicide. It’s more a story of depression, if it’s even that. I don’t really know what I feel most of the time, and I tend to revert to sadness. Often I find myself pondering reasons I have to be sad.
I have never been beaten by my parents, never been horribly embarrased by my peers, I have friends who I hang out with consistently, I have a good job, I am a smart young man, I have tutors in life, I have good health. So really there is no reason to be sad, right?
If that is true […]