I’ve stayed away from this website for some months now I was trying to make things in my life better but I was kidding myself I’m no much better then I was 2/3 months ago. my self-worth my soul are damaged and they are unrepairable I’m lost and homesick for a place that dose not exist I’ve tried to get on with life for my loved ones I’ve pretended to be well I cart stand to break my mothers heart anymore I don’t wont to hurt her and i know suicide is a permanent solution and they do say its for a temporary problem but […]
Tag:
trying
Yet another day has passed & I have failed. Or is it life has failed me?
What is the point in trying if all you do is fail.
I’ll never have another partner, I’ll never have a family. I’ll never afford another car, I’ll never travel again. I’m stuck in this one place, in this glass box that I can see out of but noone can see me. I’ll wither away in this empty box, never having what my soul yearns for most.
been trying to die since I was three, I tried to hang myself by a rope on a swing set. my entire life has been depressing. I knew happiness for a short time but that person gave up on me and left. every time I’ve overdosed, someone always found me. now that I am stuck living alone, no one should find me right away, but I don’t have the access to those prescription pills anymore. I want to try asphyxiation or strangling but having trouble figuring out how to tie these knots. also don’t rope but have scarfs, belts, shoelaces, bed sheets clothes…help
something so beautiful and puzzling about the quickness in which ants die, when there’s just a bunch all swarming to a tiny bit of mountain dew that’s spilled on the counter, completely indulging in their desire. ants can’t really do much except mate and eat. human activities for ‘fun’ are just our creation… so, when ants give into their desires and slurp mountain dew and piss off humans, are they sinning, or what? do they even know they’re making people mad? or do they just think it’s a gift from above? do ants even think at all? does any thinking that humans do or anything […]
My newest and probably last song. I havent been on for a bit. I have really been trying to feel better. But I cant. She is the most beautiful woman in the world and the 2 of them were my everything. I dont want to do this without them. I cant keep going on faking that im ok. Im not. Soon, I will be gone and I wont be a burden or bother to anyone anymore.
I hope one day she sees this and will know how much they ment to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-vGzh3tj1Y
I can’t wait until the day i return to nonexistence. I hate the world, I hate what humans have done to the world. They destroyed it like they do everything else. I look at just about everyone with disdain. I have nothing to live for, no kids, pets, hopes or dreams. I care about my family, but not enough to tolerate this world for them.
The only thing really stopping me is my fear or failing and ending up as a vegetable or paralyzed from the neck down. I’m trying to convince my mother to buy a shotgun so I can eradicate the possibility or either […]
So much sadness.I am going to be very quiet.I am going to be very still. If I do this I can stop trying to explain to them what the matter is,and for that matter,ANYTHING I want to talk of to them…its all no good -they do not want to know.Ive worn their love and interest right the fuck out of them .Nothing I can say about anything is of any relevance.I either go from here and wander til I find a way to live,or to die…or I lay here and die..
God, Please help me! I want to leave this life and its hardships and burdens. I have planned and stopped many times and think about killing myself every day. I wrote my notes and instructions yesterday. Today I am trying to have new hope and do something to not give in to the end of me. I am 68 years old and extremely depressed, financially bereft and hate my life. I do not want to hurt my children and siblings, but life is so hopeless. I feel humiliated and worthless. I cannot find work and my husband will not help. We lost our home and […]
My last post about executing the plan, was a failure. I know I haven’t got enough courage to do it on that day, simply because I thought I had something to live for, or someone to live. I still do, but the urge is just more each day and I couldn’t find a way to resist it instead to just do it once and for all. My current situation is pretty bad, I’ve lost my job, my parents hate me for not earning, and I’m just rotting at home, but they have no idea how broken I am for letting them down. My parents are […]
hi, first post. Suicide’s been in the news for the first time in a while, it seems..
I’ve been thinking about suicide and how the idea that it is bad, conflicts with several messages society sends. the idea that it is acceptable conflicts with other societal messages, and the idea it’s good obviously conflicts with many messages.
but just sort of thinking about life, society, humanity as a whole…. for anyone who tends to think logically on a macro (to the point where it’s difficult to form emotional attachments to real people in your close surroundings), why do people send out black-and-white messages to people? Whether it’s […]
It’s like some kind of sick movie. I was all ready to go through with my plan tomorrow and be done with it all, but today at work it was like he knew what I was thinking and was trying to save my life. He just kept making me laugh, but that’s easy considering how I am around him. We played around with each other like we were 5 years old, spinning chairs and all. After work he even drove me to my car cause it was parked farther away. I’ve had a crush on him for less than a month, and as crazy as it […]
I’ve just seen this site and registered as I know it’s somewhere no one who knows me would look.
I have battled with depression for a really long time now. I did have a couple of years of respite, but over the last 5 years, it’s becoming more difficult to manage.
Pretty much everyone I know knows I suffer from depression but just recently and up to this day I have kept to what degree from them. The last year or so has been especially difficult as I lost my father and my mother has become hostile towards me. She has always been protective and has frowned […]
I’ve wondered so many times why I must feel the way Ifeel? I still have not found an answer. Every now and then I used to break down, to live in crisis, cutting myself, drinking alcohol until i passed out, taking pills to lose myself, damaging every part of me for not to feel. I understand that i may never get this feeling “out of me”, I understand that no matter what I do, what I try, I keep falling far away, pushing everyone else, and theres only one thing else to do, not to try, because trying implies that I could fail, i will […]
I apologize for my actions, for being MIA so long. I had to get help. I’m not cured by far, never will be but I’m trying. Please don’t leave me. You guys helped me so much.
It started three weeks ago when I saw my cousin.I never understood why my ex would have panic attacks until I myself I had one that day.I just started breathing uncontrollably & I started hiding my face everytime I was around I was just trying to get as far away from him as possible.Anyways I cut that night.I started hiding my cuts & I was home alone so I took the armband off.The door bell rings & It’s my friend.I go outside & I see his eyes lock down looking down & In my head I’m like what’s he looking at so hard then I […]
I can’t make friends. I’ve tried my whole life to blend in, to be like everyone else. But I just can’t. I thought I finally could make it. But it wasn’t a real friendship. People just want me to be available when they need me. But no one listens to me when I need company. I’m spending my days crying my heart out. Why does it happen to me? Why is everyone I’ve ever cared for happy and enjoying their lives and achieving their goals. Whereas I can’t do it. I’m not meant to do it.
I was so desperate and so in pain that […]
Dana-Christine Umanetz
“…I felt sad, because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something that nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.”
This is me I feel like this every day!
The last time I was on this site I was suffering with a sucidal mind and it’s come back. I just imagine the rafters and hanging off them. […]
I thought i would never see u again
i thought i barried u down deep
but your back
with that horrible feelings
ur trying to get to me
but it worked
u got me
and now im going to kill myself
happy i bet u are
Well good bye world
-brian
It has been three month now. And The hardest thing wasnt trying to suicide myself, but The month that came after i survived it. It has been a daily fight Of will, wanting to do things, even waking up. At The beggining i didnt understand all The situation and what it meant to be still alive, but nos The only thing i have to say is that im exhausted. Bits a never ending fight and effort to be and behave like normal when you know it is not. Trying to fight this and sin this dar is more difficult han living and never trying to […]
Most days I want to end it. I don’t have a plan. I don’t dwell on a way out. I just want it all to end.
When I was 12 (I’m 30 now) I first thought about suicide. It seemed romantic. Maybe I’d come back as a ghost – if a somehow fashioned a guillotine then I’d haunt my house like Marie Antoinette. Maybe I’d get to meet god, the real god. As irrational as it sounds, I was curious about death – what was it like on the other side? IS there an other side? That being said, I was also looking for a way out. I […]