So I really don’t have any reason to continue living. I don’t believe in God, and think the chances of our conscious dying when we die is very likely. We are our thoughts, so we are our brain, so when our brain dies, we die as our conscious become unconscious. You can’t be aware while unconscious, not of yourself, or anything. That may seem obvious, but many people don’t realize or understand this. So that means that we, in a sense, will no longer exist after we die. Our thoughts will stop, and we are our thoughts, so we stop. There will be no darkness […]
Tag:
Unconscious
This is my first post. I’m  a 31 yo female, a cutter, overweight and ugly….I deal with the pain every day. My dad is getting on in years and he has been forgetting a lot lately, which makes me even more sad becuz I know that he has real reasons to be depressed and want to die, but he doesn’t. But maybe it’s cuz he forgot he wanted to. My pain is mostly from love.
In 2011 I met someone I fell in love with, hard, and I know he didn’t feel the same way. How could he, I’m me! But over all this time […]
Long term chronic pain is difficult to live with. I’m 21 and I have been in and out of hospitals (medical and psychiatric) for three years. All three I was in university and should have been able to experience the best side of that life. Instead I was stuck inside. Now my doctors tell me I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. I have to see psychiatrists because I have already had two failed attempts. They say I use sleep as a coping mechanism but it is a lot sweeter in the unconscious than it is to wake up […]
Tonight is another one of those nights that I just really want to end my pain. It doesn’t help that it is gross outside… like gray and cold and shit. I am always affected by the weather… probably have that SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder thing.
I tried pulling myself out, by attempting to pretend that i am taking care of myself. I even bought groceries today, and I am chronic meal skipper. I got a haircut too, and I still feel the same. It is like I am trying to force myself to feel better, convince myself I am not a screw-up. Even though I know […]
As I lie in bed at night
The door begins to squeak
Footsteps I hear creak
The bed goes down
With a climbing sound
As you begin to creep
You climb on top
The covers retract
Here you go make your move
Smashing fist
Bloodied face
Screams that pierce the room
Clothes come off
And there you go
The nightmare hits the road
Start to finish
As I scream
You just dig right in
The louder I scream
The harder you pound
And there seems to be no end
As the room begins to darken
The breathing comes to an end
Unconscious I lie once again
Wakened now by the sun
Glowing on my skin
Stinging feelings begin