I’m tired of life I want to die . why should I take all this pressure??? I had a really hard times in my life , I had experienced things that are not suitable for my age . all my mistakes that are unsuitable for my age turned out to kill me everyday. I’m not a bad person I just took some bad decisions because I am a teenager and I love to try new things but sometimes our choices can lead us into depression and death. i just want to tell you something don’t show people your week point because people will step on […]
dear sp, just a warning. their is a troll on the loose. this one is really nasty. she was using the tag HAYTRED, but is now using GOD. do not bite her hooks. do not read her words, do not take her advice. she has nothing to offer. like all of us, i desire to find that peace, that one thing that will let us enjoy living. myth, maybe. her desire is death, destruction and misery. dont know about all of you, but ive had more than enough of that shit. so avoid her. good luck, peace to ya and keep trying.
Hi everyone – it’s been a while. Has anyone given any thought to the location when thinking about suicide. I have my method and date picked out, but I haven’t decided on a location. My method can travel anywhere with me (luckily, I have an allergy I can exploit very easily). The date is going to be my birthday (I always had some sort of weird pleasure walking around cemeteries and seeing graves where people died on their birthday… I’m weird like that). I never gave it much thought until now – I thought I would just die in my house, but now I’m thinking […]
What is it about truths that we look for them in every aspects of our existences? What makes them to be “the right ” thing? when has any truth ever helped anyone?
The earth revolves around the Sun, that is true, but how the Fuck does that matter. Do we live for the knowledge that the earth’s mundane rotation can somehow give us enlightenment?
The thing about truths is that they depend on your perspective. here’s a case in point, just a few hours ago, I told the woman of my dreams that I had once loved another before I met her. safe to say […]
So, up until about 6 months ago, I had a pretty ok life. Had a good paying job, owned a nice house, had great friends and neighbors and a pretty active social life. At the time, I didn’t realize how good it was. I sure do now.
My in-laws used to live about an hour from us but about 15 years ago, decided to move to some tiny little hillbilly town in Alabama. My husband, being the poster child for “Mama’s Boy” has been begging me ever since they left to move there. He said it was quiet and pretty and wanted a less complicated life; […]
morning folks, here we go again. the overwhelming urge to end it has passed, finally. and im back to sort of functioning again.still have all the problems though. no job, facing eviction, no food. why kill myself quickly and comfortably when all i have to do is wait and slowly die of malnutrition and hypothermia? oh well, guess meathod dont matter if the results are the same. i have learned some things this past week that i didnt know before. #1- this website- wow, wish i had found this long ago. reading the posts is like reading my story. #2-feelings- surprise, surprise. who knew. i […]
We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,— This debt we pay to human guile; With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise, In counting all our tears and sighs? Nay, let them only see us, while We wear the mask.
I ask a question as old as it is cliche. I no longer fear the ambiguity of death as I once did. It is not the thought of the actual act of dying that scares me, but rather my willingness to let go. There is no reason for me to share my story. It is no sadder than any others. We all live with our own burdens and sins. Some of us choose to fight the good fight, to “keep on trucking” as the saying goes. Others of us get our lives cut short, never given the option. And some of us choose to tap out early, […]
we are all humans we all make mistakes and learn from them ,but sometimes our big mistakes can lead us to depression . sometimes there are some mistakes that you can’t fix them and when you think about it you feel guilty and you start to hate your self!!!. but you can never fix a mistake by a bigger mistake (you can never fix your mistake by suicide).sometimes you really enjoy your time while making a mistake and you feel proud but we don’t know that this feeling will change and will regret it . and whenever we remember our mistake we start crying or […]
Since the TBI and NDE I have felt ready to transition.
Despite decades of therapy, death’s call only gets louder.
For each of us it is not if, but when: as per nature, or assisted.
There is nothing mystical to discuss. There are no wounds to others of concern. (The few who know me will be unsurprised.)
Tomorrow will be a new day with or without my participation.
Do not follow my path.
I am not a martyr.
My ego cries to be useful.
My ego cries to die.
I am lost.
….There are so many of us. So many of us who feel suicidal and want to harm ourselves. Yet most of us say we hide away and/or try to fit in. Why is there this pressure/stigma to depression that just adds to the guilt we already have. Scared of hurting family and friends by telling them how we honestly feel. Other people can be selfish, put themselves first, are taught to look after themselves if they are treated wrong or are ill, but feeling suicidal doesn’t get anything other than a raised eyebrow, or a look of fear from people like you are going to blow […]
I got sucked in. The darkness took over and when it takes over it drowns you and pulls you away so that you can no longer see the light. No one sleeps in the dark we stay awake and let our thoughts take us away to endless possibilities and the only way we feel greatness is to pour another drink and provoke trouble because trouble is the only thing we can feel. I got sucked in.
If your battling depression and issues in your life right now. The crazy stuff going on in the world doesnt help much.
We have plagues like Ebola and the Black Plague popping up and killing lot of people. Other mysterious illnesses are
popping up and injuring people and doctors don’t even know what some of the Illnesses are. e have wars in the middle east
we have countries beefing up their arsenal of nuclear weapons and making threats towards other nations.
We have governments taking away peoples rights and people that have been sworn to protect us making declensions
that make things worse for us…. and some of those elected […]
Why is it that some of us who have scars get looked at like were freaks?! I’m not a freak!!!!!
you can never fully be happy in life. for most, we’re born with the bad things in life. some of us grow up without a mother or father, of both. some of us grow up in the terrible parts of the world. without a home, without a family, without clothes, food, an education. some of us just grow up different. these terrible things are what tell us to be appreciative of what we have.. to not be sorry for ourselves and how we feel. I grew up with a family, a roof over my head, food on the table, a mother, father, in a good […]
Hi
I’m sharing my story, because it seems to make me feel better, which I’d guess is point of this site.
I’ve always had sensitivity, anxiety, and depression issues, (undiagnosed), but often medicated with once drugs and nowadays alcohol as a have a kid which has straightened me out some. I’ve managed to keep a good job, but have generally isolated myself. I’ve had thoughts of suicide in the past, but i’ve generally managed to form some kind of stability in work, sleep overs with my kid and the occassional binge drinking episode. A lonely existance, yet stable for me and also held together with a little […]
I consider my depression a terminal illness. Some of us battling this illness, we know we will terminate our lives one day. We are basically just waiting to die, because we can’t be saved. The darkness inside will always be there, waiting to resurface . It won’t let us be normal. It won’t let us be happy. It’s like we are slaves to this darkness. We basically sign our lives away by taking all the medication, because once you’re on antidepressants, you can’t stop taking them or else you’ll really be fucked in the […]
I guess I’m writing this more for myself than anybody else…it just breaks my heart sometimes knowing that the one place you thought where you will be understood and not judged can also be infiltrated by people who cannot do the former and do the latter. I mean this place, our SP community, is a place to share our stories not just about having done it, attempted it and survived it but also having contemplated and/or contemplating it. Contemplating it meaning thinking about it…wondering why do we feel the need to end it? What is going on in our lives? Why must we hold on […]
I sold everything I own and gave every last dime to US immigration services for them to process my paper work. Every last dime and I a still stuck in Jamaica. I did some things I am not proud of to get that paperwork going. Some really unclean things. Oh lord I wish I could wash my hands of those things. But I can’t. Stained. Scared. I really want to fly out but can’t afford that $250 ticket. The man that petitioned for me, he and I had a falling out. I hope he doesn’t go to immigration and get my green card revoked. Cause […]
I have so many questions
And for answers I’m guessin
If life’s a test well then I’m F’n
Everything gettin fucked up fast
Tmw I don’t know if I can last
Laugh hard when we mingle
Cause I’m the only one of us that’s single
And for anything to be serious I have to turn it into a jingle
Man my life is gettin stacked like Pringles
Under pressure ima crack
Headed down any road that ain’t my own
Since in my lain I’m all alone
Pick up the phone to hear the dial tone
Friends has just never been my zone
And now […]