morning folks, here we go again. the overwhelming urge to end it has passed, finally. and im back to sort of functioning again.still have all the problems though. no job, facing eviction, no food. why kill myself quickly and comfortably when all i have to do is wait and slowly die of malnutrition and hypothermia? oh well, guess meathod dont matter if the results are the same. i have learned some things this past week that i didnt know before. #1- this website- wow, wish i had found this long ago. reading the posts is like reading my story. #2-feelings- surprise, surprise. who knew. i still got them. i feel all the pain and anguish in these posts. and frustation at not being able to help. if i can feel pain, anguish and frustrstion,surly i can feel happiness, joy and laughter(is that “hope”, naaa, couldnt be) #3- im not alone- this was a biggie. for so long i thought i was the only one like this. how depressing (yeah, i know) to find out that their are so many of us. #4- determination- shaky at best,and can crumble at any time. but i actually want to do something about this. i am tired of wanting to die. would be nice to figure out how to live. i dont want to die, i dont want you to die. I would like to find a way to live, if not happily at least productivly. and without the pain.#5-lessons- how do you take a disability and turn it into an ability? how do we take this thing that destroys us, and turn it around and use it to help others? same principle as aa. one drunk helping another drunk stay sober. all of you people saved my life this week and im really grateful.im taking steps to try and pull the shattered pieces of my life back togeather . again. one more time. to all of us, be tough, keep fighting, and lets find a way to beat this thing. peace
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Glad the urge to end it has passed. Good luck with things.
thank you so much. you are one of my favorites. love your title. the urge has subsided but all the physical crap is still their. shaking, crying, hurting heart. really would like to get over the constant fear. do they have a pill for that yet?
No pills but if you need to talk I listen pretty well 🙂 my username at hotmail
IM glad you got off the idea of putting an end to yourself. I have always believed that in most cases there is always a way to better your situation in life. You just have to look for it. Reach out to some people in your community and see if there is anybody who can help you.
There are food banks that give food to people in need, there are homeless shelters, there is housing for low income people in certain areas, there are Churches that give out food and clothing
there are other things out there that can be of help. Try and mix with some good people and somebody will help you or direct you to where you can got to get help
It’s good you’re fighting the urge to end it, life can feel out of control sometimes, that things are dragging you down, reading your post I’m sorry how things are for you at present, but it’s good you’ve realised you want to live, please keep trying to find the help you need to stay alive.