She cries because she knows I have plans to end it, but I can’t bring myself to tell her she is the reason I’m still alive and the reason I’m so close to dying. She doesn’t want me to die…but the mindset is in place and I don’t know what to do.
i get high
i want to die
let me be
so i’ll be free
my life’s a rut
i always cut
i can’t escape it
so i fake it
the people won
now i’m done
Pick the door that looks the most appealing to you!
1 – You are a fun individual that likes to keep things light and airy. You are all about nurturing others and appreciating the simple luxuries in life; such as your fine dishware, favorite candle or eating artisan bread from the local bakery. You most likely have a love for traveling and other cultures. You truly want the best for everyone and love creating a welcoming atmosphere. It is important to remember that if you […]
I want to find suicidal people in real life that I could have contact with. I just don’t know how!! It would be so great to have suicide societies where people who want to end their lives could get together, have open discussions, gather supplies, share advice, meet partners, and support each other. People this should be a basic right but its all criminalized. It’s all criminalized because of goddamned godless moral busybodies in the society that think it is their right to force everybody else to live. So what is this- a hollow dream? Just shows how unevolved the human race really is, that […]
I’ve been feeling depressed since high school. Seen therapists, seen psychiatrists, the one after another. I’m really just done with this. I started feeling extremely anxious and depressed at the start of December and longed to end this suffering for good. But I thought to myself: “Just give your family a nice x mas, then you can do what you need to do”. Did I do it? Well I’m sitting here right now. I have a bipolar friend and I’m the only one that he really has. The only one who understands his feelings and will stay and listen or just stay with him when […]
I just got told that im not trying hard enough.
Which kinda makes me want to you know, not try at all.
Give up completely.
im so lost.
Hey there. She has a boyfriend, which initially really hurt. I freaked out in class. But now that I think of it, that’s great. I want her to be happy. It’s a good thing that she has a boyfriend, so she can enjoy her life. I want that. And at the same time, that’s my signal that I don’t matter all that much to her. I don’t have a place in anyone’s heart, and that’s okay. I’m going to wait until this weekend, when my family is out shopping or something, and then I’ll grab a few dozen metres of extension cord, run to a […]
No one knows and no one can see. I cant cry anymore only gag and rock myself until I stop moaning the pain away. Its silly how we can fall so rapidly and just realize this once we have the pills and alcohol at the ready. How did it come to this? “I just want you to get better so you can stop hurting everyone else.” he said. Why did he say it? They sent me somewhere where I was supposed to get better. I said it made me better. In reality they blew my head off. Its terrible thing, lying. What can I do […]
“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must […]
I’m scared to live, so I wanna die. I’m scared to die, so I try to live. Stuck in the middle and the hollowness is too heavy. The logical thing would be to face the fear to live, before the fear to die. But I’m not logical and I want an easy answer, though I know there aren’t any.
…a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
I can’t separate the things i want, from the things i can’t stand, or handle, or accomplish.
Everything i do want, is attached to enough of something i don’t, to invalidate pursuit.
I can’t find anything that is both available to me, and also worth my efforts to gain it, which are inevitably and irrevocably connected to conditions and/or consequences i can’t, or won’t, endure.
I can’t find, even with all i know and the capacity of my mind to “imagine,” anything… that fills me with both belief and motivation to achieve, accomplish, or attain it… but that is also available, and […]
Endless hours of unbearable pain.
Unbearable pain that cannot be explained
Why do I have to feel this way?
Can’t this feeling of hopelessness just go away?
I am so tired, so fed up
Can’t I just die, get it over with?
I don’t want to try anymore
I can’t try anymore
I have nothing left inside of me.
I had enough
I had enough
Why do I have to feel like this?
I want to end my life
I just can’t take this anymore
Please just let me die
The world would be better of
It has been a little over three years. I was in depression most of my life but thought that was how life was supposed to be. Until i met her. She was the light that pulled me out of the darkness, out of the lonliness. After dating for over a year i lost her. It has been 3 tears. I still dream about her. I still think about her constantly. I love her so much i cant look at other women. My family are just people i occasionally talk to. Love does not exsist in my life, or in my heart. I gave that to […]
Hi Guys,
This post is going to be bit short… Sorry about that… It’s a bit late here… About 10:30 here… Sorry about posting so late…
Anywho how are you guys?
How am I? Physically: Sore. Mentally: Let’s not even go into that….
My physical state… Soo I am bit tired… My trip was after school (around 2:30) the group I was with drove up to Menogyn (Took us about 6-7 hours? Maybe seven… Not sure… I think driving was 7… And then picking up everyone was about 1/2 hour… And eating dinner was 1/2 an hour…) Anywho so after that […]
I miss how I used to be.
I never really liked myself before, but at least I was happy. At least I didn’t feel empty inside. At least I felt like somebody important. I enjoyed hanging out with my friends and family. I even enjoyed having time to myself. I actually cared about how I spent my time. I didn’t dread every second of every day. I actually wanted to inspire and impress people with what I achieved in my life.
But now I just want to do nothing. I could careless about about anything.
I just want to give up….
I just wish my life would end. No […]
I got accepted into a university I really wanted to get into. I’m happy about it, but I still in someway feel depressed. I thought maybe that would be the thing that brings my mood up but then again I’m so easily ready to leave this life. I guess I should be grateful because I’m getting something I want in life and like I said before I understand that I have been fortunate but I have also been unfortunate.
I feel like a college can accept me but people I know or try and get to know cant. But why is that what the hell is […]
So…guess who’s back? Annabeth is. She left for a week or so, and I was the only person who cared enough about her to continue talking to her while she was gone, since everyone at school believed that she was gone for good. I thought so, too. But now she’s back, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. When I found out she would be returning to live nearby, I was overjoyed. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there would be a chance that she would finally talk to me in real life. That I would mean something to her. Maybe she could actually care […]
I’m scared. I’m scared of feeling stuck, of being tormented not only the past, but my own thoughts. I’m scared of moving on, of trusting people who will only abandon me when they find out that I’m not as perfect as they foolishly believed. I’m scared of the possibility of being stuck in stasis for the rest of my life, not accomplishing anything, while everything else moves forward at the speed of light. I’m scared to live with the pain caused by living.
Yet I’m afraid to die. I’m scared that maybe I could have made a difference in someone’s life, maybe even reached my full […]
I panic so much because of how I feel inside. My girlfriend wants me to get better but I cant right now. I know I should be happy with where I am in my life but everything that’s going on in my mind won’t let me.
I want her to get mad at me and tell me im wrong for not wanting to be here because if i leave this world ill be leaving her behind. one of my only reasons for being here is her because she wants me to. if she told me to kill myself tonight i would think about it for two […]
Tomorrow is the day my sister died exactly one year ago.. She was the fourth death I’ve suffered in 3 years now. The first one was somebody I loved a lot, Emily. She died to a car accident. Then my grandmother died to cancer.. Then my Father drank himself to death. Finally, my sister hung herself. I just.. don’t know anymore. Every day I wake up, sit in bed and just stare at the wall. My family is entirely unsupportive about everything, now. Every day of my life I get told, “You don’t deserve to be sad” or “You have no reason to be sad.” […]