I’m fairly certain I come from a long line of diagnosed and un-diagnosed mental illness. My maternal great-grandmother committed suicide when my grandmother was eleven. Unfortunately, I never really took the time to ask my grandmother how it effected her as a child and an adult, and now she’s recently passed. I have been diagnosed as bipolar by two psychiatrists, but when I returned to one of those doctors recently after a couple years gap, she seems to be rethinking that diagnosis. I’m not seeing a professional right now because I have a hard time justifying spending $50 to see the therapist every week, plus […]
Yep. There was a chance for me in April where I could have died from cyanide poisoning. As painful as that would have been, I’d be dead right now. My suffering would have ended there. I hate myself for not doing it, for not taking the chance I had.
I thought I could make a life for myself, for my Grandmother’s sake at the very least, but things have gotten worse since then. I’m making excuses, whatever. I want out right now. I’m going to try again tonight. It should work if I’m serious enough.
In case it does work; I bid thee farewell.
<3
just wondering since they have that right to die law or whatever that passed. what if some people went like in a group to Oregon and found a doctor who could help? if not they have alot of forests i guess
Well, wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t at the end of my figurative rope. What do you do, if life just ain’t… fun… anymore? Nobody gives a damn about you. You got nobody to vent to, to talk to… Except the anonymity of the internet… Sure, your sick dad, wife, and kids all DEPEND on you… But they take you for granted day after day. And your elderly dad, you realize, never did jack shit for you… You were an inconvenience to him and your mother…an accident, she gladly told you her whole life. He never took time off from work for you, yet now […]
Hey… I probably don’t know you and if you have made it to this site?
I know how you feel.
It probably won’t mean much coming from a guy sitting in the library behind a computer screen but somebody out there believes in you. They want you to succeed and do great things. I don’t say much anymore but I’ve noticed a lot of intelligent people here from their stories. Don’t give up the good fight just yet!
I’m not a “do gooder bible toting freak” either. I’m not here to preach at you or tell you it’s all going to be okay…but what I will say is […]
Hi every miserable self loathing being! Don’t let your youth be the end of you. Believe it or not, its the best part of your life. It gets much worse as life grinds on and on. I’m 38 and have suffered chronic depression as long as I can remember. My youth was filled with constant bullying and a knowledge of being less than. I have always been overweight, unattractive and poor. Looked upon and treated like a lepper.
People always say your a great guy, smart, fun, nice, blah blah blah. But when the chips are down, its just me. Holding the bag while they all […]
I do everything for you. You do nothing for me. You have come to expect me to drop everything and do whatever you ask. you’re a grown man…act it . Be responsible for your own shit. It’s all about poor you…you’ve destroyed me in your path. I have to get out from under you in order to survive. If you are there in the end things will be different but I have my suspicions that you will be long gone, when the favors stop.
I keep trying and nothing is ever good enough for anyone. I give him everything he wants, do whatever he tells me but that’s not enough. I just want to be done…with everything.
I am 51 years old. This is not about fleeting moments of sadness or bad days or a broken and lonely heart. I have family that loves me, friends and a good job. I have no reason to be sad and miserable, but I am. I am tired and bored and depressed. I no longer have any fight in me, no desire, no hope of better days to come. The thought of living another twenty years, another ten or even another year is nearly unbearable to me. Life for some of us was never meant to be long. For whatever reason, some of us just […]
I am so alone, so weak, so not anything worth keeping up a fight for.
You know those feelings that are so strong they just become unexplainable? That’s what this is like.
So now what am I supposed to say? “Goodbye cruel world.” Or whatever. No, there is nothing left to say, only to do. Go. Leave. Exit.
I feel like I’m on the brink of something. I am afraid to post this but I will, because I love. Consider this my love letter to all of you beautiful, compassionate souls, and excuse the length. If one person finds one phrase that jumps out at them or comfort, or just provides a little something to ponder, I will be happy. Every day, little things are showing themselves to me and they all mean something. Think whatever you like, I’ve never been one to force what I believe, judge, claim to understand everything, or say there is only one way to do something. There […]
Thanks everyone for providing a place where people who suffer from such a myriad of issues can tell their stories. While I know none of you, it’s been nice for the last few weeks to have a site to go that I can read posts from people who ask a lot of the same questions I did. It’s allowed me to live semi-vicariously through your words in a world where I didn’t think I was so alone, so isolated. I read all the posts, commented where I felt I might have some insight, tried to be there for people who wanted someone to talk to. […]
All The Oscars,money and fame couldnt stop depression from attacking you!depression just doesnt attack poor people only,it can attack anyone.He wasnt born with depression,but has been battling it for years,HE WAS A COMEDIAN!!made people laugh all the time,and yet depp down he wasnt happy.goes to show that we can smile and shake hands around people,while dying inside.63years,and he did it!he mustve been contemplating it for months or whatever,becoz we all want to do it,but keep holdin on,faith,or whatever.shit is real!
he can finally find peace.R.I.P ROBIN WILLIAMS
I want to cut myself so bad right now. It’s like the longer I go without, the more intense the urges become. I should reward myself for going almost 3 weeks without any bloodshed. Positive reinforcement, or whatever that psychology theory is.
It might sound weird, but I almost miss the smell of the blood, the feel, the sight. I could get so much red out of just a few small wounds.
Why do I miss it?
I am 37 and have 2 kids who could easily live without me, a dead end job that barely pays enough to keep the utilities on and gas in the car, no friends, no life outside of work. I spend most of my time staring, reading, or playing whatever game my mouse happens to click on the computer. I am chronically I’ll with an undiagnosed ailment which is most likely going to kill me even if I don’t . I don’t drink or use drugs or terrorize my kids. Growing up and in highschool and the years shortly following, being with someone was at the […]
Two days ago, I was in the worst spot of my life. I tried to kill myself. Today, I’m in a hospital and being called a hero, strong, and inspiring. I don’t deserve it and I don’t know why. But I guess it feels nice to be loved for once.
Well, I saw a psychiatrist today. It was pretty much useless. I went in for an hour and a half, and in the end he diagnosed me with depression. Thanks, totally didn’t know that already. Glad it’s costing a couple hundred dollars to see someone who’s telling me shit I already know.
The depression’s starting to come […]
i have no life and im trying not to fall into depression and suicide and stuff right now. anybody wanna talk about whatever?
Still looking for a friend and a place to crash out of Southern California. I have money for small rent and food. We’ll go party if you want, or do whatever. Let’s do this.
Well they put me on Seroquel. My jerk for a psychiatrist…..or should I say nurse practitioner says she’s seen a lot of good results from people on that medicine.
whatever.
By now you might have seen on the Internet the story of one “Jeremy Meeks” who has recently gained a reputation as “Hot Felon.” He has been the center of much attention after his mugshot was released showing what many consider to be a very attractive face. The purpose of my writing here is not to take a shot at Mr. Meeks. I hope that he will receive whatever punishment his crimes are due, certainly that he should repay his thefts, and other than that I have no concern towards him. It is what this man’s story has revealed so clearly about our deranged and unjust society, which I take interest in. My blood does […]