Lately I’ve been crying myself to sleep every night. i keep seeing my dads dead body when I close my eyes at night or I dream that he is still alive. It’s twisted because when I was still in the womb he attempted to stab me. I hated hearing that as I grew up. He was a drug addict, and had about 6 fatal infections leading up to his death. The flesh eating one is what killed him two years ago a week before my 16th birthday. We had a rocky relationship. From the age of 6-12 he abused me. I lived with him […]
Tag:
Womb
It’s time
This isnt really my story but ill tell you anyway.
when i was growing up i had i close girl ‘friend’ who played with me every day. unlike me though, she was from a broken home and was abused by her dad, i was to young to understand at the time.she put up with this until she was a about 12 when her dad went for it and….well you can probably guess what happened, after that she tod the cops and they probably took him to prison.
it’s now 4 years after her dads gone (i dunno were she don’t tell me) and […]
I wondered how far back I would have to go to make a miracle change in the timeline of my life. This is no idle thought, it is one I’ve considered for many long years and the reality is there is only one place for me to go back to and that is the womb. Not to come out and relive with the hope of it being different. No, I would need to move backward into the womb, wrap the cord around my neck and die before I ever lived. Backward would be the only way to stop my life that has not been […]
My daughter. She needs me to survive. I’m her only life force. It’s not fair for her not to get a chance in the world, she’s so perfect. But is it any better to be born and then lose her mother? I love my precious girl. I love her movements in my womb. I love her jabs and punches and kicks… I want to do right by her. She deserves it.
But I can’t. He tells me every day I wont be able to hack it. He tells me every day how I’m already a terrible mother. He tells me everyday how she’ll hate me.
I’ve got […]
I have always believed that Suicide is a personal choice and that it should be a lawful and valid answer for any ADULT (sorry, there is SOOOOO much drama during the teen years that if legal EVERYONE would commit suicide) that is in so much physical or psychological pain that they just want out.
If you are in so much physical pain – from an illness, injury, birth defect, etc. – that day-to-day life is a struggle and you are in constant unbearable pain, I believe that if all else has failed and you CHOOSE suicide, then you should be supported in your decision.
If you are […]
Hello Jesus
It’s been a long, long time
I hope that you still know me,
I’ve been hiding quite a while
I know that you know all things
Still, I think I should explain,
The reason I’ve been hiding
is because of all the shame.
I know that I don’t look so great
For meeting up with you
But I hope you understand
I’ve been alone since I was five.
You probably see the dirt marks
And smudges on my face
But it seems no matter how I try
Some things can’t be erased.
They say that eyes are windows
That peer into the soul.
I’m afraid to that if you look there,
You’ll find it dark and cold.
I’m not sure why it is, […]