I wondered how far back I would have to go to make a miracle change in the timeline of my life. This is no idle thought, it is one I’ve considered for many long years and the reality is there is only one place for me to go back to and that is the womb. Not to come out and relive with the hope of it being different. No, I would need to move backward into the womb, wrap the cord around my neck and die before I ever lived. Backward would be the only way to stop my life that has not been worth living. Backward…..if only.
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It’s nice you’ve worked with this idea for years. (There’s a metaphysical idea that if you have the Holy Grail, you CAN rewrite timelines. Not an option for most of us, but might be a concept worth looking into.) Short of this, we have one day at a time, our insights and will, and whomever will support us on our journey.
I imagine your feelings of worthlessness come from hits you’ve taken in life without understanding why. If you want to discuss any examples of things that have happened that might relate to why you feel to return to the womb and and end it all where it began, please do.
There’s book by Philip K Dick called Counter clock world. Well … the idea didn’t quite work out. And also there’s a movie called Time Machine. I don’t remeber it too well but in beginnig man went back and back in time to save his beloved. And everytime she died.
So I guess. If you were once born. You couldn’t change it. Though if you come up with a way, share it.
My point is anyways… That start now. Go forward. Make the change. Make your life worth-living.