My entire life I have suffered with depression. Iv never not known to be depressed. Both of my parents are hard-core alchoholics. They have been my entire life. I never had many friends growing up. I was a very ugly teenager. I had a big nose and severe acne. Now Im left with severe acne scars. I am a hideous human being. I look like a dam ogre. On top of that, I also have a chronic debalitiating disease. That has no cure. It leaves me in chronic pain. There is literally no hope for me. I give up. Im just scared to actually do […]
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Yea
It’s viral, this spiral
That threatens our survival
Take a picture for the road
We’ll say cheese and smile
Yea, we’re versatile
We’ll give you what you want
And we’ll make it seem worthwhile
Denial, our wile
We make it a lifestyle
Take it hook, line, and sinker
And then praise us for our guile
We’re liars, expired
Somebody start a fire
The only thing that’s left for us
Is burning on a pyre
Yea, we know it’s dire
And still, it’s what we want
Are you scared of our desire?
In this mire, we’re tired
Beginning to perspire
The only ones who hear us now
Are partners to conspire
It’s dust, skin rust
Our spirit’s outer crust
It’s really only flesh and bone
Who cares if we combust?
Yea, we […]
well my brother has officially snapped. whenever he dosent get his way he acts like a huge baby and throws a tantrum and of course its all my fault. he said he wished i died and i actually killed myself. awesome. its always my fault. now of course he blames me and he has a whole big pity party. i really dont want to be here. he even blamed me for him hitting me earlier. im weirdly calm even though he is yelling at my mom about me. he is like a 2 year old but it does scare me because he’s bigger and stronger […]
This is my story and i hope it gives all of you out there some hope.
I was always a good girl. I had friends not many but yea. First everything was good. I wasn’t the thinnest but I was happy with who I am. But when I came to 5th grade, all my friends were away. All of them were on another school. I thought it couldn’t be that hard to make new friends but it was. No one in my new class liked me. They called me names like fattie. Everyday I got home I went in my room and cried. I just cried, […]
i should be happy. i’ve got a great girlfriend, i’ve got a few good friends, i’ve got my cat..
i’m not alone, so why do i feel this way?
no matter how many times someone will tell me i’m worth it or that suicide is never an option, i can’t help but think, fuck you. seriously though, fuck you, to everybody who thinks they understand, to everybody who won’t listen when i tell them they don’t understand. i feel so alone because nobody really knows me, only i can know myself, who of which i can’t even fully comprehend. so yea, people can tell me i’m worth […]
Hey everybody, I’m new here…..kind of. Anyways I felt like I wanted to share my story, but I have no idea where to start or how to start. So I’m just going to ramble on and on until I feel like it should end.
I guess I was always suicidal. I’ve always thought of suicide as a little girl and its almost an obsession now. I remember trying to commit suicide when I was six or seven, but not strong enough to push the steak knife into the skin of my neck. Such a weak little girl I was. Anyways about two years ago is when […]
Had a few good (sort of) days. Now the depression is coming back like it always does. Suffering 2 month long dakr depression for 2 to 3 days of mild happiness? Who ever said it was worth it was a wonderful optimist. The sad part is the depression is getting worse and darker and playing with my suicide button I don’t really hide at all within myself. I dare it to push it. But no…The depression gets longer into the burning depths while the “happy†days shorten. It makes me want to go back to cutting so I can endure this predictability more easily and […]
here i am at the fucking crossroads again…FUCK!!!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Depression has wrapped its arms around me, i am so fucking tired of this battle, day after day after fucking day. Yea take MORE meds! yea THAT IS THE FUCKING ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!! take ALL of them!
few days back i wanted to quit it with car exhaust- carbon monoxide.
but now, i want to do it the hibachi style..
i even  ordered from ebay one old japanese hibachi, just for this. i like japan, so yea.
and imagining  the whole process, i really adore it. i dont know yet where im gonna do it, but i have few nice choices to pick from.
i dont know when, i’ll see when the hibachi arives.
sorry for my bad english. peace.
She walked forward.. things rushing through her head.
shes one out of 7 billion people….
her long hair swiveling as she moves..
no face is seeen… only her back.. she keeps walking..
they call her name.. so she starts speed walking..
they call her again and she starts running..
she screams…. as she holds the knife…
she turnss her head….
full of tears and bloood.
full black eyes… pale with trembling lips..
and then EVERYTHING BLACKS OUT..
is she dead? maybe… is she in  a mental hospital probably..
Wow I haven’t cried in forever :’) this sucks really. Well heres the deal,I’m losing another one of my best friends yea what is this the 3rd one? I only have 4 friends I could actually count on and who actually understand me. The one friend I thought I would have forever just cause we’ve been together Forever haha 3years I guess was too long *sigh* well there goes my damn twin/big bro he was the only reason I’m still alive,te only reason I woke up in te morning now…I just don’t know what to do. Yea people are probably thinking “so what wow you […]