i wish everyone will die. i wish my family will just drop dead. i hate this fucking world they put me in. they have no right to give birth to me. they have no right to make me suffer. im not ever going to be normal like everyone else. im just me, me myself. nothing will ever change. i dont want to change either. i try to be nice but i get hurt. if i have fire, i will burn my house down and everyone will just die. isnt that nice? if they have the right to give birth to me, don’t i have the […]
December 2011
it irritates me soooo godamn much how everyone try to downplay my feelings and coin it as a sort of illness that can be overcome if I try. I’m not looking for sympathy. i don’t care about that either. ppl telling me im still young, i need to see a doc and such really ticks me off. when im angry, i throw things. okay, face it u do-gooders. u arent gonna save us. we dont need u saving. take ur nice ass off somewhere else. im trying my godamn best to live on. i dont need ppl saying to buck up, to try harder when im […]
I’m 58 years old, working in Iraq so my wife could spend time with her sister and our nephew who died of brain cancer 1-Nov-11. I came here for her, for my family and stayed though I hated being away from my home and family, I stayed because they were proud of me.
Up until coming here in May-2011, the longest I’ve been separated from my wife was three weeks while she visited our son in Japan. She has wanted to go to Japan for as long as I’ve known her and when our granddaughter was born there, my son was in […]
This prayer really touched my heart.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
Hello, I’m a 21 year old male who has been struggling to find a reason to live. I’ve thought about suicide quite a few times but deep down, I know I am not capable of it. Instead, I suffer through deep depression, which is always sparked by the simple question of ‘Why?’ I know this answer is unique to every individual, but I was wondering, as an individual yourself, what is your reason to live?
So who all on here self-harms? I’m just curious because I do and have been for about 6 years now. I’ve been trying to stop but I’ve been having a hard time with it. My progress has been great though. I just keep having little slip ups and do it about once every month now. Has anyone ever completely stopped self-harming? And how did you do it? Was it difficult to stop? I just want to hear from somebody who has gone or is going through the same thing I’m going through. None of my friends had a hard time quitting and I’m the only […]
kay so i really want to make a difference. like do something! you know what i mean? but i have no strong feeling about any idea. well kinda stereotyping and stuff but how can i stop that? i want to make a movement type of thing… i need ideas and people
anyone willing to be with me on this? email me morgie222@hotmail.com.
I’m serious about this!!
Yesterday? It’s 2.49 am. I don’t want to be 21. It’s a bloody Black Jack number -_-
So that’s what i am now… Black Jack? I really don’t want to be 21. I hate it. It means I’m one step closer to the year ending. There’s nothing for me there. Not that i can own up to.
But i don’t want to die. I’m in limbo, and everything is so dizzy outside.
As you may have noticed, I write a lot. I came across this website in an effort to find some research for a very large essay I’m writing. Needless to say, your stories and poems moved me to tears. I know where most of you are coming from and I too often contemplated suicide. But I made the decision to share the times in my life when I believed I couldn’t move on. That is why these stories are here. My hope is that someone will be able to read my story, relate to it and realize they’ re not alone. You can do this, […]
Im a 16 year old on break, not alot of plans, wouldnt mind helping someone, send me an email jmtoverbeck@gmail.com, if u have an american number send me your number and we can txt
I don’t particularly think my story is of any significance, nor do I think anything particularly bad has happened to me, but I shall share my story anyway because of the simple fact that I want to.
I shall begin with the fact that I’ve always hated my father, as far back as I can remember he has always annoyed me, with his selfishness, lack of manners and personal space, I swear, if I even began insulting him, I could never stop. People say I have a really good memory but the truth is, I don’t I can’t exactly remember anything before the age of […]
Two friends, archeology and medical students, had no choice but to work as gravediggers but one day they made it big running a very expensive suicide hotline… and causing many deaths.
http://adam-niezgoda.blogspot.com/
I’m a roller coaster that won’t let me off. Sometimes I’m at the top of the world other days the world is smothering me. I’ve told my story to alot of people, i don’t really know why, maybe cause I love to talk. *shrugs*
1. Mother was a drug addict (never saw her doing any)
2. Was in foster care (but saw my parents and got to stay with my many siblings, five of us)
3. Molested and Anally raped twice by my own family (But I forgave them, I mean we were kids, they didn’t know any better)
-Think this contributes to my sexual issues. Lost my virginity […]
its all blurry. my eyes are puffy. from crying so much. i sat by my window and stared at the dying tree. its beautiful. my apartment is so freaking cold. im supposed to “be up” at 9:30. no one knows this pain of mine. tomorrow in front of everyone i will look and act fine. he just sleeps through it all. my pacing. my silent tears. he doesn’t understand anymore. i remember when me and him were the same. he has been in this place too. but now he doesn’t cut or wish for death. he reads the bible and keeps himself busy. but when he sees me upset he gets […]
so i called a suicide helpline today when i was down. We talked, they had me promise to call back, i did, we made a deal, i would go to a crisis center later today and get some help.
So i finally get to sleep and at 2am cell phone, private number. The helpline called the cops, told them to pick me up and take me to the hospital
So i just spent an hour explaining to this cop that no i’m ok, i got a plan, talked to a social worker, going to a crisis center.
Had to turn my phone off to get rid of him.
I […]
Here I am once again. I keep telling myself “I’m going to post here everyday. Im going to keep going. I will survive” Ect ect. But. Not with whats going down now…Lost my job. No more income. Supposed to be out of my place by Jan 7th..but i have nowhere to go. Lost someone close…but she doesn’t matter anymore,told myself to forget. People tell me it will be okay. SHE told me it would be okay. Thats BS. How is one supposed to think shit will be okay,with the inevitable? Jan 7th. thats my deadline. If i can’t find a job,can’t find somewhere to go…I’m […]
I’m in my 30s. I’ve been depressed my entire life; my first memories are as early as 2 or 3, of me standing in my crib screaming my head off, wondering why my mother won’t come to me. But neither my mother nor my father ever really did. They managed to care and provide for me very well, and still be emotionally negligent and abusive. Even now, I have the emotional development of a 15 yr old. Waiting, always waiting. Lingering and hovering around my mom – I live with her now – hoping for an opportunity to sit with her, be with her, even […]
At this point, I’m just trying to stay alive. This is what has been keeping me alive.
I had the idea quite awhile ago that I will get a tattoo to represent each thing that has saved my life and kept me alive. I already have my first tattoo, which is the beginning of this process. That way, when I look at the tattoo, I’m reminded of why I’m alive.
Here’s my list, starting with the bigger influences and moving on to the little things. Keep in mind that I come up with new ideas once in awhile.
1. Copper, my basset hound from when I was a kid. That dog was my baby, she passed away when I was 16. I have […]
I ran away from my home, in Austin, at 15 to my 16 year-old boyfriend’s house in Dallas. I left behind my family, my friends, and everything I had known in my life on a whim for someone I’d known for a month. He convinced me that my life at home was dangerous because of my dad’s abusive past and I’d be better off with him. To me, he was everything, he was my world. I knew for a fact I couldn’t live without him now that I had him. I was addicted, consumed. I didn’t make it to Dallas, however. A police officer found […]
Birthdays are so much fun. I had the best birthday ever. Yeah, it was great.
I guess it actually wasn’t that bad. I was sick all day, but I got some nice gifts, had a lovely dinner with my family (minus brother) and didn’t run into any fights or issues. But at the same time, it was brutal. My insides feel like they need to come out. It’s been like this for a few days now. I can’t eat. It’s almost painful. But I’m not “sick”. It’s not an upset stomach or the flu, it’s impossible to explain. It just feels like my body is telling […]