I am socially retarded. Everyone I’ve met ever has understandably hated me. I’m aloof and unaware. People think I’m selfish and mean and awkward, etc. I have Asperger’s. Between my friends there is always a boundary between us because of this. I’ve wanted to die every day for a while, but it’s getting worse. Basically I am remembering everything that ever happened to me, and I know the phrases the past is past and only now counts, but I literally can’t forget. So I’m not sure how to live with the burden of days of years of things I’ve done. Life sucks a lot.
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You sound very self aware of your situation.
This internal strength can never be taken from you and may well help you to turn things around.
Good luck.
Yep, it certainly does suck. No choice but to howl at an uncraing moon with the vice-drug of your choice.
The past changes all the time though, so maybe tomorrow you’ll be better.
I am super aware of your situation. I suffer from a similar social handicap. However, I have never been diagnosed with such a condition, partially because I don’t want to pay money to have some doctor tell me that I’m “off.” I am in a perpetual state of social awkwardness, and nothing I’ve tried can cure this issue. I’ve accepted a life of solidarity, even though I wish there were something more. Thought after accepting and embracing this fact, I have come to a certain degree of peace. I can’t think of much more to say now. I do hope you feel more “normal” in reading about someone else who can relate.