17 dasy left

i’ve done amazing things in my life, had some incredible experiences. most of my life was as a professional creative… now.. 17 days left. I tried once in ’97 didn’t expect to wake up…

i won’t make that mistake again… i hope.

so much anguish..i gave it a year then another year and another now i have lost every thing.. or about to. betrayed and lied to. a job so miserable i almost pull my hair out to survive a bad call.. i used to earn $72 an hour and that was low  for what i did .. and now . its humiliation and abuse i abide to survive../ for $9 gross an hour. i designed movie posters all of you know.. in my past career

including some of Robin Williams..i was affected when i heard he finally did it.

a man claimed he loved me.. yet the lies being led on the lack of compassion, i am tempted in my last days to take it all away from him as best i can as he has been to me the last straw as well. amazing how cruel people can be.. and play you ..i was  trusting.. but i tried my best to hang on.. to make a go of it… to rebuild my life.

odd i found out that soft bedding is more valuable than special eats, real kindness and communication more valued than jewels..

i havent been hugged or touched in so long, havent made love in years and once was considered a beauty…

sad how my life has turned.. and to end this way.

so cold and

distant our  lives have become so isolated and separate in this world of internet so easy to shut the phone off walk away, turn the page…

my last page i will turn soon