“She’s lost, nobody can find her.”
“She’s lost? No, of course not, she’s right here.”
“You’re right she is. But is her soul here?”
“…”
“She went on an adventure.”
“Where to?”
“To a place that seems so close, but yet so far.”
“And that is?”
“Her thoughts. Sometimes she loses herself to get away, and be happy.”
“Well that’s good, that she thinks of happy things.”
“But most of the time she’s dragged into her thoughts, with almost no way of escaping.”
“Don’t be silly, of course she can escape and forget about it. They’re just thoughts.”
“They are not ‘just thoughts’ she’s taken to a dark place that is almost impossible to escape.”
“And this dark place, where did it come from?”
“She can’t remember, it was too long ago from the first time they came to visit. Because of them she has been lost that whole time.”
“Who? What do you mean by they?”
“Her demons.”
“…”
“And who am I, and where did I come from, and how do I know all of this, you must be wondering, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m her last survivor. The demons have taken over most of her, and all of her other imaginary friends are gone. I’m the last of them, the one that is still keeping her standing. These demons have led her to do so many things that are hurting her, mentally, emotionally and, physically. And the only reason why she is still here is because I remind her of some of the most important things she would be leaving behind if she committed suicide. It’s me against all her demons, and I don’t want to see her commit suicide because if she goes, then I would be gone too, and she would be left with her demons, alone.”
“Wouldn’t she still have you?”
“No, it’s not how it works. If she commits suicide that would mean her demons would have taken over, and I would have lost the battle, I would be letting her down. And I would be permanently removed from her mind.”
“Why are you telling me all of this now? And when will she be return?”
“I’m telling you now because the demons are gaining power faster than before, meaning I’m not sure if she will be returning anytime soon. But if I beat her demons, she will return.”
“You are really a great friend, for fighting, you are strong. Please save her.”
“Yeah, but too bad I’m just her imaginary friend. But I’ve made it this far, I’m not going to give up on her. Even though she may give up on me and let her demons take her. I’m not going to take her down. I know she is a brave girl, but all her demons have been telling her to give up o everything that she does. Don’t you notice she always has her headphones in? Don’t you ever wonder what she listens to?”
“Well yes, I’ve noticed her headphones in almost all of the time. And I have been beginning to wonder what she listens to, now that her headphones are basically attached to her ears.”
“Well what do you think she listens to?”
“I don’t know anymore, she used to listen to music that would cheer her up, but now that I know that she is full of demons, she probably listens to emo music, which makes her more suicidal.”
“No this is where you are wrong. She has found music that she can relate to. To know that she’s not alone on this, where her demons are running wild and ruining her, and she’s letting them. It’s not the music that is hurting her, it’s her demons. They are trying to make her forget about me. Do you understand now?”
“Yes, I do.”
“And do you know that she cuts herself?”
“Goodness, no. Where did she cut herself? How bad are her cuts? How long has she been cutting for? When was the last time she did it? Why did she do it? How many marks has she-“
“Calm down, she’s been at it for a while, making multiple marks on her wrist, some of them are small and some are really deep, the last time she cut herself wasn’t long ago.”
“But why does she do it?”
“It was her demons, everything that she has done to herself, her demons made her do it. But don’t worry I’ve stopped her from cutting, now she does small scrapes.”
“What can I do to help you defeat her demons?”
“Nothing, do nothing, don’t tell anyone about what’s wrong with her, just do what you would do if you didn’t know. If you try to help, you will only be making it worse, you will fire up her demons living inside her. You don’t push their limits, since there are too many, she will blow and hang herself, or swallow a bottle of pills, or drink rat poisoning, who knows what she would do. She has made so many plans for her suicide, I don’t even know which one she would ever choose. But I’m not going to let her have a chance to pick how to kill herself, because I will save her from her nightmare that she hasn’t woken up from, I will be her hero.”
“Please save her, bring her back, to the real world, where she belongs.”
“I will bring her home.”
“Thank you.”
“I have to go now, her demons are fighting again, good-bye now, I hope we meet again.”
“Good-bye, I hope to see you soon.”
*Walks back through her body, looking back waving good-bye*
*Watches her disappear into her body, and waves back, with a tear rolling down her face; after a few seconds she stands right in front of her looking straight into her eyes, noticing that her eyes show shadows of the things on her mind, and then she finally notices the pain that has had in her eyes for a while;after looking into her eyes long enough more tears roll down until there is a flood of tears, hugging her tight, and rocking her back in forth, never wanting to let her go*
This is one of the many conversations that go through my mind, and most of my conversations aren’t always like this, they’re usually worse. And sorry for it being too long, probably didn’t read the whole thing :/
2 comments
i really enjoyed this! you are a good writer! these are also part of the conversations that i have in my head. if you want to talk about them, im here 🙂
I think it’s very interesting. Couldn’t stop reading.