The only good moment in my life now is the thirty seconds after I wake up, because I don’t remember who I am. I don’t necessarily want to die; I just want life to be better, not full of exhaustion and pain. And for thirty seconds, my brain hasn’t “woken up,” and I feel almost optimistic.
Then thirty seconds pass. I remember who I am. I remember my place in the world. I remember all my broken dreams and hilariously naive goals. And I just want to end myself.
2 comments
I wish i knew what to do, i really do. i hate that i see the similar suffering in another person. i wish the pain away for you, nobody deserves to feel like this. I can’t preach amazing advice as i myself won’t follow it so how do i expect to help others if i can’t help myself. Bless you. I know nothing about what you are going through but please don’t disappear. i don’t want you to go. All i can do is have hope for you. i know this won’t do much. But i hope one day you will be happy and so will i. i hope we both make it but in the end I’m not completely sure if i can. Live on and know if there is one person who doesn’t want you to go its me.
If you are willing to share, i would like to hear more about those broken dreams and naive goals