How I idealize: a certain member here sums it up perfectly. So I sat down and idealized more. And watched a very good film on the subject.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477139/
Film teaser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn7GVNskKU8
It is about us. It is a beautiful film that is as funny as it made me cry. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, you should just watch it.
This is all I do now, idealize my own death and who I will meet afterwards. There is a romance to it. And it’s not to get back at anyone, I just want to reach outward and upward.
My life (oh boy, the “my life story” bit) has been great. I have loved and lost and loved and not been loved and lusted and lusted upon. I have done my best to calculate my moves around this crazy mice maze–blue starship-marble earth. (As I can get trite sometimes….) The point is, I know that God does not have human emotions. That whole thing about the gift of life and refusing that is refusing God, is hooey. The source that created us and the heavens above (the cosmos and the extradimensional) is one of compassion, like you-just-walked-a-thousand-miles-here’s-a-blanket-and-glass-of-water compassion. To say anyone can be damned to anywhere in opting out of this life is sheer lunacy. We all made it this far, and most of us without stomping on a little head of a kitten (because we know it’s wrong). What I am saying is, I am in love and it’s with the existential, and that is why I want to leave early.
1 comment
Yea I can relate to the way you feel. Think that punishment and retribusion are human behaviors, not the way an all perfect an all knowing God would be. I cant beleive people think that, society has kind of brain washed us all in that way. The universe just, is. It is so everything, it is even us. Even though I dont think we would be punished for killing ourselves, if there is a God then there must be some reason we’re here and I try to remind myself of this when I get really close to ending it.