I just don’t understand people.Â It’s like everyone else got some guidebook to human behavior and my copy got lost in the mail.Â Maybe I’m a cynic, but god, it’s just easier to assume the worst of people than expect the best and end up disappointed.Â My closest friend is moving in a few months, to a city four hours away.Â I know I should spend the time with her now while she’s here, but I . . . can’t.Â Every time I talk to her I just end up lost somewhere between crying and absolute detachment.Â I’m treating her like she’s already gone; it’s hurting her and not helping me, but I don’t know how to stop.Â I miss her and she hasn’t left yet.Â I’m happy for her — damn it, I will be — but the transition is hell.Â I never thought she’d go, and I let myself get too attached.Â So now I’m pushing anyone who matters, because if Cassy can go (leave me . .) so can will everyone else.Â A friend from work asked if I was okay and I snapped at him, “What the hell do you care?”Â and I don’t believe him when he says he just does.Â I want to, I want to believe people just care for no reason at all.Â But they don’t, and it hurts too much to believe.