I’m not so sure how to describe it really…
Last night was one of those wierd nights when you just lay down and pass out… I dreamed of what my family was doing and stuff. Just everyday things like around the house. This was in the morning. But it was like from a video point of view I was looking through. The video went into the next room and automatically I was back to regular view. My eyes were closed so it was black with the sence of light from the morning sun through the window. [This is prety normal, right? I think maybe it is so far.] I rember going to bed but thats all I rember prety much. I rember me thinking of my boyfriend right befor I fell asleep; and that’s it. When I woke up my eyes were still closed. There was somebody familiar beside that I could feel behind me. One of his hands was wrapped around my waist. He was kissing my shoulder and face so softly. I just layed there motionless enjoying the moment. I knew who it was. It didn’t bother me at all. It was nice and so sweet. It was a great feeling. I smiled and opened my eyes turnning my head towards him. I was enjoying every moment of it and didn’t want it to end. We kissed and it was so soft and meaning. Both of us smiling at eachother, our faces so close and being wrapped in his arms…. I loved every moment of it!!!!!!
Something was wrong though… I woke up and found myself smiling like in my dream. My face was glowing, I could feel it! So bright and full of happyness! That hasn’t happened in a long time… It was a REAL smile… I felt great even though I knew it was not real! But, there was still a problem with this… It wasn’t my boyfriend. Yet, I was so happy here even me knowing this.
I could feel the sun from my dreams on my face. The light bouncing off of our faces. How right it felt! It felt so right! “You will know what is right when you fell it. You will just know it.” that’s what people say about things, right? Well, THIS felt so right.
But, it wasn’t my boyfriend though! Could this still be right? Or is it so wrong? Something can’t be right!!
Every time I would fall right back to sleep from being so tired. And every time, I would go back to that dream. And every time I would enjoy it even more. I would wake myself up time after time and it would continue. I thought that maybe eventually, I wouldn’t dream at all, or it would change. It never did.
It was (still is!!) driving me insane!!!!!!
I feel SO guilty
I know it was just a dream
I don’t control my dream, do I?
Dose this mean something? I mean, I don’t really think much of my dreams, but this one was so diffrent…
This person is real… He was my ex. We still txt eachother and it’s great. He done make me smile for real and thats hard for anyone to do. I’m not understanding this. I don’t know what to think of it…
Day after day in this dream I would wake up next to him and it felt so unreal but real!! I love it!! There was no pressure and no worries. I was happy…
I can’t forget it. Why not?!!!?!