I’m so very sorry. I’ve made a permanent decision that in 2 months, I will definitely kill myself.
Please, don’t try to change my mind. I’ve made it up, and you all shouldn’t waste your energy on filth like me.
I’ve been living in a fantasy world for years now, and the wall separating my fantasy world from the reality I’ve never wanted to face has finally come down. I’ve truly seen how horrible of a human being I am now, and it has become intolerable.
I don’t blame the world, or even my surroundings. I blame me for being a selfish, stupid and ungrateful person.
Though this may seem wildlyÂ hypocritical, IÂ must advise that no one else make as rash decision as I amÂ making.Â (I apologize, for you must fancy me an idiot for suggetsting such a remark considering my current situation.) I will try to post on this site up until then, though it won’t be as frequent.
I wanted to wait two months to take my life because that is when my garden blooms. I want to leave at least one thing positive behind, rather than the 15 years of shit people around me have had to put up with.
I love you all.