Still Dealing with Depression & Suicidal thoughts

*This story is going to be very length and I am sorry for that but I think this will help me.*

My name is Chris Simpson. I am a 21 year old white male. I have served about 6 months in the US Army. I had my first attempt on February 14Th 2008; I took an Over-Dose Of sleeping pills. They Honorable discharged me due to a Medical Defect. Since then I have attempted suicide 3 times. I really want to talk about the last attempt but first you need to know some facts. I am homeless, I was a theft which caused me to get kicked out of my mom’s house, and (this is very hard to admit) I… I am a Chronic Liar, But this is the Truth I live at a homeless shelter, I had a large amount of anxiety pills proscribed to me. I took 120 pills. I told a Friend what I done, he called 911. I thank God because my heart stopped 3 times and the first one happened when the ambulance arrived and they got me into the ambulance which scarred the hell out of me because what I remember was being in the middle of a sentence then it happened. When I woke up finally they had tubes in my mouth, nose and I had a cathereder put in to my body. They had me strapped down because I had; had a seizure. If your reading this you might understand but if you don’t I’m sorry It is so scary to wake up and you feel like you’ve done something wrong and you look around and you see everything on you and all of the tube, I personally had a panic attack because I had never been that way before and I honestly cried not just a sniff but a full bailing and then the doctors came and talked to me. I was in ICU for 1 week then I spent 4 days in a physic ward. I don’t know if this makes since but I actually felt normal and happy in the ward, even though I was still depressed I was happy to be with people like myself. Dose that make since?  I just needed to be reassured that I can be better this is just something I have to learn how to deal with but now I have some tools that help me deal with it they are coping skills, and they really do help the doctors aren’t lying to you.

Well if you believe me or not I love you guys you all help me more then you all