After briefly browsing through the posts on this blog, I immediately became panicked at the number of people who want to kill themselves.
And I’ve been there. I’ve been to that place where your chest feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, where you feel dark and cold and numb and totally alone. Where you feel like no one’s there to help you, no one wants to help you… I’ve been there. And I’ve come back, though still affected.
Depression happens, just for some (like us) it takes a stronger toll. It’s been almostÂ 4 years since my depression first started due to bullying at school. However, I was one of the luckier ones. My bullying only lasted for one grade. I only had to endure 10 months of it, while I’m sure others have endured far worse. Maybe that’s why I was slowly able to come back from that dark place?
Anyways, my point is; I want each and every one of you who is reading this to know you are important to this world. The fact that you have thoughts, opinions, beliefs, emotions… it’s beautiful. You are alive. You can touch the world around you, you can see the beauty of it. Even though its hard to believe, there is some good left in this world. You deserve to be here. You deserve to have a chance to show the world just exactly what you can do.
If you think hard enough, I’m sure you can think of one thing you enjoy doing. Whether its writing, drawing, reading, or just sitting there thinking. And each one of these talents is good for something. You can make it in this world, despite social anxiety, depression, etc. And trust me, I know. I have both these things. And it’s hard – it always will be – but the rewards are beautiful.
Imagine never seeing you mother’s face ever again. Or never seeing the sun rise again, or never seeing your pet look at you with that adoring look of theirs that says they completley love you regardless of how you look. Imagine just leaving that all behind. Imagine your family at your funeral, the tears that would be shed.
Just know that you deserve to be here. You deserve to have a place on this earth as much as the next person. Whatever you do with your life is completley up to you, but if you die now, I’m telling you, from one depressee to the next, you will miss out on those little moments that make life worthwhile.