My first suicide attempt was in 2001 I tried over dose didnt work. I was sent to the hospital because when I was at school they found out about my pills. Ive been bullied through my high school years and lost a lot of friends , but now I dont go to that school anymore and this year 2010 i lost my best friend she doesnt wanna talk to me anymore for no reason . She was big part of my life . We dont talk to eachother anymore. I feel no one wants to be around me, including my family , I feel isolated a lot, at work I dont have any friends , people i went to school with dont talk to me anymore or dont wanna keep in touch even if i try really hard to ask if they wanna keep in touch with me I fail. Everytime I make friends I always lose them. I fight a lot with my mom and she yells at me a lot for no reasons sometimes she just likes to yell. I dont want to commit suicide but It feels my life isnt getting better or wont be better . At my new school people were happy i left cuz I quit school and took a break. I dont go out I dont get invited to places . I went to the doctors not long ago with my mom he told me inside of me half of me is empty and he says im a depress person and sad a lot. My mom thought I was bipolar but im not. My sister is far away from me. My dog always comes and looks at me so I can take him in my arms he does that when im sad. I quit my projects. I have the worst job ever. I dont know what to think anymore. I hate myself and my life. My couzin always worry about me . She knows im sad. I dont wanna commit suicide . I just want this feeling to go away whatever it is i dont understand it.
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It sounds like you have a lot going on.. I’m really sorry.. I’d give you a hug if I could. I think you should go to a psychiatrist and get some anti-depressants. I was always opposed to medication because I thought I should be able to get out of my depression alone. It didn’t work and I just got worse. After I attempted suicide, I was put on some anti-depressants and it helped me so much! I just needed a little push to help myself 🙂 I think you’d benefit too! Or maybe just someone to talk to? You can always email me at eliza.wntr@gmail.com. Don’t give up! Theres so much out there! Everything will be okay, I promise!