I always promised myself that i would never fall in love, yet fall in love with a guy. Well I did. His name is Jason and he means the world to me. He told me from that he was not looking for a boyfriend. But i later found out that he fell in love with a guy name Don and a Dr. named Chad. I just want Jason to hang out with me and love me like I love him. The only problem, is that i do not know how to kill myself that will be painless and effective. I thought about the helium method, but i don’t if that will work. I don’t want to suffer and just want to have it all end. Will God forgive me? Jason had another friend named Steven that took his life. How will he react to another. I guess he probably won’t care, as he doesn’t care for me. Maybe him and Dr. Chad will go on and have a happy life together. Forgive me lord. I have asked you to help me, but I just can’t get over you. Tony – my best friend, you are the best. Sorry for what I have done to you.