Life….It is what it is. You look, you search, you contemplate…but you never find. Perhaps I heard too may fairy tales growing up, perhaps I listened to too many songs, but is it really so much to ask? Really? Love me for me? Be the man I need and in me you will never find a more faithful, caring, loving partner. It’s one thing or another. I had a man that lied to me all the time, one I was not at all in love with, but my lifestyle was grand. There wasn’t anything I wanted that I couldn’t have. But the lies, oh damn, I couldn’t deal with the lies. Then I move on to a man that made love to me like no other man could, had money even better than my ex, but wouldn’t share. Then I move on to a man I have known before. One who was all I ever wanted in a man back then. 15 years later, though, I don’t know him. He makes great money, but not only doesn’t he act like we are together, but he acts like I don’t deserve him. I go to school full time, I work, I take care of house and home and I am willing to give him the children he claims he wants. I don’t know anymore. Some days he acts like he couldn’t live without me, but mostly he acts like I don’t exist. I can’t live like this, but I cannot live any other way. What do I do? I swear, if it were not for my child, I would have already ended it.
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Humans have only very short attention-span. believe me. and believe it yourself if you see around you everyday.
People easily say (or promise) one thing, only to forget about it very soon, due to all other hectic things in life, like work for example.
Humans always have hopes though. That’s also what makes us, Humans.
We might hope for our love, marriage, whatever to stay happily ever after.
But we should know that it’s only a “HOPE”.
while the REALITY is always, always going to be so different from our mere ‘selfish’ Hopes.
Reality just IS.
Reality doesn’t care.
If you vow like you’ll love your partner forever and ever, and then five-six years later down the road, you or your partner held a job that tires you or makes you feel NUMB (song of Linkin Park) and soulless and heartless (due to the fucking thing called MONEY, and the pursuit of it),
then the REALITY would obviously be different from all your sweet, rainbow-ish initial Hopes.
This earthly and human life is not a fairy tale, unfortunately.
But then again, you’re right in your first sentence: “Life…it is what it is”.
You create, you mend, or you break.
It’s all up to you.
After knowing all these truths, it is again always up to you (and your partner) of what to do.
You can always CHOOSE to fix it, mend it.
or you can always CHOOSE to deteriorate it even further, whether unknowingly or knowingly.
It is said that when you really can’t find all/any kind of hopes, then you can go to CREATE one. just like what the great figures in human’s history like Mother Theresa, Viktor Frankl, etc did. they created hope. not only ‘look’ constantly (& endlessly) for it.
The choice is always ultimately at your hand.
You might not be able to become everything your ‘selfish’ dreams and hopes always been wanting, in this Life (Reality),
but you can always “strive for beauty, not Perfection”, because Perfection is just illusion and never exist on this reality. But it is something that points us towards SOMETHING better though. It’s a tool, really, again only if you choose to view it that way.
do you wanna talk? im a social worker. i may be able to help you through this.