I wrote a post that I titled “A Peaceful Death†in April 2009. I came to this website because I was hoping to find like minded individuals that were also interested in the idea of using or creating an assisted suicide service. I developed a habit of coming to this site once or twice a week despite the fact that I didn’t find the kind of people that I was looking for. I have no desire to read about people’s problems or suicidal thoughts, but that hasn’t stopped me from spending 5 to 10 minutes on this site every week. Maybe I am just a glutton for punishment. Or maybe I am just a lonely pathetic loser in the game of life that is desperate to communicate with people that can help me achieve my goal to experience a peaceful death.
This world is not for people like me. We are living in a culture of misery that has been designed by high ranking members (alpha males / females) in our social hierarchy. A lack of coping mechanisms has turned me into the antithesis of an alpha male. There is no compassion for people like me in this world. People like me are forced to suffer with no real hope of relief. I am living in a society that is so cruel that I don’t even have the option of paying for a peaceful death. Forget about all of the other goals and desires that a person may have. Experiencing a peaceful death should be one of the easiest things for a person to achieve in a civilized society. There are a lot of people that seem to have a problem with the idea of assisted suicide services. Most of these anti-suicide / pro-life individuals are not necessarily doing anything to make this world a better place. They just believe that people should be forced to live and suffer because of their ethical or religious beliefs.
I suppose this message is my last attempt to communicate with someone that can help me. My life has gotten worse since my first post on this website. It feels like the universe is forcing me to give up on my goal to experience a peaceful death. I am beginning to think about other things like suicide by cop or jumping in front of a train. I probably would have killed myself a long time ago if I had the option of using an improved version of the Dignitas suicide service in the United States or Canada. The service that Dignitas provides is horrible when you consider the high price. The €4000 – €5000 that I would have to pay does not buy me the death experience that I want. I started making plans to kills myself approximately six months ago. I decided to use an intravenous injection of Pentobarbital. Unfortunately the drug is very difficult to obtain. I made plans to get it from a veterinarian but it didn’t work out. I’m too pathetic to accomplish any important goal that I have in my life.
4 comments
trust me really when I said this: you are *NOT* alone in feeling like this.
there were actually already some ‘anti-alpha’ souls that have posted excellent threads in this website, unfortunately you might have to dig the archives of older months like 5-6 months ago (I sometimes wish this website can have the ‘Sticky’ threads, so very important and beautiful threads/message can get relayed to everybody new here).
in fact, few months ago, I have created a thread that pretty much similar with what u wrote here.
google “suicide project + It seems that the happiest people in this world is those who LOVE money”, and click on the first link. That was my thread, and see also the responses below, and also the related links/urls.
Bottom line is: I know exactly how you feel, and yes it’s never easy..
that’s why now I have this somewhat ‘pragmatist’ (yet also somewhat ‘liberating’) view that this earthly life is merely and for one, is for survival.
But to survive, humans DOES need *other* essential things such as: compassion, beauty, sacrifice, love, friendships, nurture, etc, basically the ‘anti-alpha’ things,…and maybe that’s where we can offer our greatest strengths at, while certainly we’re still breathing and living on this physical earthly existence.
No compassion, indeed. Which is why we’re here to help. I’m not feeling to great right now, either. So I can’t say much.
Just best of wishes to you.
If you still want someone to talk to, you can email me at midnight_insomnia@hotmail.com.
The world itself holds no compassion or sympathy but individuals can.
It’s true, you couldn’t be more right.
I hope this doesn’t offend anyone I am just trying to make an argument here,
But I feel as if abortion is celebrated and encouraged and talked about as being liberating for women and all who support it because after all a fetus isn’t a person it’s not alive….
But if someone living wanted to end their life in a peaceful way that would be wrong because life is a blessing and needs to be lived.
Its actually hilarious if you think about it. I think the real reason they wont let us kill ourselves is because so many people would do it, and if it’s normalized like abortion we could see allot if people end themselves.
Which would hurt the economy. I think it’s incredibly selfish for A-Holes on you Tube to say things like “Hey!!! The world would be devastated BLAH BLAH BLAH” it’s as if we are somehow the only people that matter. Yet thousands of children die of starvation. Hundreds more die of drug overdoses, so much death in this world but ask for a peaceful death…and wow your horrible.
I truly find these social justice worriors to be the fakest people on the planet as in one hand they will speak out against suicide, and call it wrong, but also stand with abortion, while simultaneously claiming that the climate is in danger due to overpopulation and human pollution.
I don’t want to be a dick I am sure allot of you are pro choice and care about the planet as much as I do. I just wish people who wanted to end their lives peacefully and privately could also have a choice.