I am 20, and try everyday to keep away from thigns like cutting/smoking etc. I once cut myself really bad, and freaked out the love of my life. He left. I dont know. It is difficult for me to deal with that. I know that he wasnt worth it anyway, if he didnt help me then and just left. Â I was so scared. I didnt mean to cut myself. It was an empty threat! I have never seen so much blood in my life. I spent the whole day cleaning the room and trying to find a way to stop bleeding. I have a huge scar on my ankle and that was the worst trauma of my life. I had no one to help me out because I wasnt at home.
I dealt with that. But Now, I have so many problems dealing with people. I can never trust anyone. So even if (finally) my studies and everything are going okay, I still feel so empty. Unable to cope with even the smallest little problems. Sometimes I feel that all I do everyday is try to stay away from smoking, drinking and cutting. All I seem to do is try and try to stop myself, that I am so tired to actually live. please tell me that I am okay. That things will be better, because it is very very difficult to stop myself from taking extremem steps.