Well, i think i have finally completely lost my mind beyond repair. My hallucinations are now more frequent and much more disturbing. Before i could handle any of the hallucinations that i would have, but not anymore. For example, yesterday i watched blood flow down my ceiling while my dead grandmothers disembodied head was floating in the corner of the room. You probably think that im making this up, but im not. Im now dealing with these types of hallucinations on a daily basis and i have to say its messing me up quite a bit. And on top of that im dealing with the voice that pushed me over the edge at one point and made me decide to commit suicide. Of course i failed, which was not much of a surprise to me since i cant do anything right, and i was locked up in a mental hospital for a week. There i had some of the worst experiences in my life. And at one point i started experiencing freight or flight and had to be sedated. There was also no source of entertainment to keep my mind off the hallucinations and my depression. I couldnt sleep i coulnt eat, although that is pretty much what happens to me everyday. I just cant take it anymore, i just cant. Iv put up with this for almost 8 years now and im just turning 16 in a few months. I dont want to die but i dont want to live. I just want to get away from all of this shit that is happening to me. I dont want to hurt the few that love me, but i dont want to stay here to suffer anymore. For example, if someone pulled a gun on me, there is a high probability that i would help them pull the trigger. There is only one reason that im really trying to continue to live, but ill explain that some other time.
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Hi Daniel
Sorry to hear you are going through such things, it doesn’t sound good at all. It appears you have sought medical assistance. Have they diagnosed you? Have they tried medications and if so, are they working? I ask these questions because once the medical aspects have been exhausted, it leaves only one other likely possibility – which is spiritual. At risk of being flamed here, but regardless I will advise anyway. If you feel you have exhausted all medical approaches, and they are not helping, can I suggest you seek out a genuine healer from the Christian community who is experienced in demonic delivery aka exorcism? My preference would be to seek someone in the evangelical or pentecostal streams. Which country are you from? I might be able to help find someone.
Yea, i have been diagnosed with chronic depression, bipolar, and schizophrenia. I have tried numerous medications over the last year and they havent done much for me. If they do work, they only work for a short period of time such as a week. Then after i felt good for a while, my depression kicks in worse than what it was before. This is why im a little hesitant on trying new medications.
I have considered an exorcism before, but i dont think my parents would let me do it. But even if my parents would let me i probably wouldnt want to do it anymore. I have completely given up on religion and the only reason i even wear a cross is because the last time i didnt wear it is because my parents were threatening to take me to the psych ward again because i had given up on god, and therefore i was going to kill myself. The messed up part is that they werent far off. I had given up on everythin and i wuz gunna go kill myself. Although, if things do get much worse, i will try an exorcism as a last resort.
Also, i live in the US in Arizona. I really appreciate your help, thank you.
Okay I just did a quick search and found Bob Larson’s ministries in Arizona. I have heard a lot about this minister even though I am from Australia, he specialises in deliverances aka exorcisms.
http://sfcphoenix.org/index.htm
There’s plenty of other ministries though I haven’t heard of them. I just typed in these key words ‘arizona christian church demonic deliverance’ into google which returned a number of results.
Daniel, the ONLY reason I provide this information to you is simply for your consideration and further research. Not trying to say what you should or shouldn’t do, I just feel in the situation where it appears everything has been tried, then as you mentioned, it may be worth considering as a last resort.
There’s some interesting information about demonic activity on some of these sites and how it manifests should there be something there. Like I said I have personally experienced this phenomena in the past, though it isn’t something I purposefully seek out.
Good luck with whatever approach you take and either way I just hope something works out good for you.
Im really sorry to heard this. i really think u need help, taking your life is very serious and i really want u to try these few thing im going to tell u.
– try spiritual healing i been in your situation before but not as extreme thou and been being in spiritual place always helps me. try this willn’t be a negative effect on u.
– my brother told me hypnosis and he says it really works his professor performed many cases as yours and it helped them. but make sure the person u pick is a professorial and not a scammer.
i really hope this work for u
Hi Daniel,
I read from your post of there that you have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. There is medication out there that helps it, but I’m being honest with you, theres no cure for it, and if the diagnoses is correct then It’s just going to get worse as you get older. I’m so sorry you have that disease, I would not wish it on anyone. My grandma has it and watching her see things and cry because of it I can just see how much agony it causes. I truly am sorry. I don’t see how an exorcism would work, since you don’t have any demons in you. I know you might think you do, but its just the hallucinations. What I would recommend is go to the doctor and talk about it with him and you both can figure out what kind of medicine would control it the much. I am so sorry you have to live with this god awful disease. if you ever need to talk, I’m always here.