My father has been sent back into the hospital about a week ago.. he could catch his breath at all. The day after he went into the hospital, his Dr called my mom and told us that we should go to the hospital and see him.. he said he wasnt doing to good. So we went. At first i didnt want to go. I didnt wanna see him like that. But i thought that this could be the last time i see my daddy.
So i went. And me and my mom stayed at the hospital for abotu 4 hours. It was tiering and depressing.. Each day my dad grows weeker.. The Dr’s dont think he will last much longer…. And we dont either.. Just by the look in his eyes. I broke down crying the other day thinking “why couldnt god take me!? why my daddy!? why?!” But no matter what i asked myself the same answer always came back. ” i don’t know…” So i cried for about 2hours the other day.
My dad’s time is running out… My father will die this year. There is no doubt about that… He will leave me forever.. He will leave my mom and me… And there isn’t anything i can do to help him… At night i beg for death..Â I beg to just go to sleep and never wake up.. But every night i shut my eyes. And every morning i open them. I only have one thing to look foward to every day. and thats seeing my friend Nick. Thats the only thing that puts a smile on my face these days. Nick makes me smile and i want very badly to see him outside of school. but he never wants to hang out. so i only see him afiew times and thats it. The one person who makes me happy im alive and i cant even hang out with him..
My daddy’s dieing. My so called “best Friend” left me.Â My Boyfirned is now scuicidle so i need to worry about him too. And my friend Nick is too bussy to hang out with me. And my mom.. All she does is cry.. My life is a living hell. Why am i suffering so much pain.?.. What did i do wrong?..
God Hates me…. And he’s forgotten all about me…
R.I.P Daddy, 1955 – 2011