So I posted a few days ago about the beginning of my plan to end my life, which involved me losing some more weight. I have been doing really well, and I have been really happy with how no one has noticed yet. However last night I saw one of my favourite things in the cupboard, a biscuit with caramel inside and chocolate on the outside, I picked it up and ate it. It was the first thing I had eaten in about 5 days and I only had one single biscuit but afterwards I felt so guilty that it gave me a headache. I hated myself for eating it and felt so sick, so I put my finger to the back of my throat and threw it up.
All I want to know is if anyone thinks this is just my stomach reacting to the food that it wanted and me longing to reach my goal, or the beginning of an eating disorder?
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well, I guess if I hadn’t eaten in 5 days, and then I ate chocolate or caramel, I’d get sick too. But starving yourself takes many days before you’d die, it’s a lousy way to go unless you were protesting something like Gandhi.
hey u need to look into something like remron. it will give u an apite and will make you feel much better. not eating is very un healthy and u can fuck your self up by not doing it. eating disorder yes
That’s what I was thinking, thanks. And I’m not starving myself until i die, but thanks for the advice anyways.
I don’t want my appetite back, but thanks anyways. Yeah I know, but i don’t eat much on a normal day anyways so it isn’t that much of a change for me.
Well you should try eating something that’s good for you. However I do feel that it is an eating disorder developing. As I have done the same, and it made me feel good when I was losing 1-2lbs a day. However it is hard to break out of though, as you will feel like you already ate, or sick when trying to eat. So you need to force yourself. Which sucks alot.
I really don’t want to eat anything yet, I am wanting to loose a few more kgs first, then I will start eating only healthy food. Hmm, I didn’t even contemplate the fact that stuffing with my eating habits like this could work its way into a eating disorder until last night. But i don’t want to fix it, I want to see how things go. But thanks.
I understand not wanting to fix it, as even now I still feel like starving myself again to lose more weight. However I have to factor in the possibility that my parents will catch on this time, as they know I have done it before. Even though it’s really unhealthy, I think it’s the fastest way to lose weight. I’m trying to build up almost an equivalent by only eating dinner (some I’m nit completely starved of nutrients), taking Ephedrine (appetite suppressant as well as it’s supposed to raise your metabolism), and drinking green tea (also supposed to raise your metabolism). The Ephedrine works pretty good with the appetite part, not sure about the metabolism part though, as I do nothing at all, all day long. Not really getting exercise.
I hope its not too rude to ask you what you currently weigh, if you don’t want to answer it’s fine though ofcourse.
I have picked up my fitness recently, but green tea sounds good. I don’t mind some green tea every now and then, I might give that a go too. I’m not sure what Ephedrine is, is it tablets or something?
My current weight is 193-194 lbs. Sitting around doing nothing really made me put on weight. The start of this past summer, I weighed around 240lbs!
Ephedrine is a small little tablet, it’s not illegal, and is sold for nasal congestion or hay fever.
Woah, well done. You have lost a lot of weight!
I’m currently just under 50kg, which i think is about 110lbs. My goal is too lose atleast another 10-12lbs.
Thank-you, I will check that out and try to get my hands on some!
Could be. Not eating in 5 days, that seems a bit extreme. Depression suppresses appetite, but have you been deliberately starving yourself or just didn’t feel that hungry? If you’ve been starving yourself, that’s fasting and is what some Anorexics do. Throwing up…eh, I hope that was just a one time thing. Once you get into thehabit of it, i promise you’ll regret it and it turns into an entirely different thing… NOT something you wanna make habitual.
P.S. not eating for five days isn’t really great for weight loss. once you start eating regularly again, the weight wil come back. Your metabolism probably slowed down a LOT…