Oh the dark shadows that loom within full of scars! Why does my outer appearance deny me the stains that hide within? Why can’t people be seen from the inside out for who they really are? I hate the inner hell I live and survive. I hate the external appearances of deceit that my vision captures around me everywhere. I hate lies, secrets, and abuse. I fight death every day that I arise and progress through another day. I smile at night because no matter how bad I want to slice my wrist, pop pills until I sleep into eternal bliss, or drink my alcohol until I can not stand I do not give in. I can not. If I do, they win. The abusers, the tortures, the lions that hide in sheep’s clothing, the tongues of sweetness that captures others’ identities! It is for uncovering the demons of others and standing against my own. Pain versus coping becomes harder as my days continue on at times. But I will fight death as long as I have a choice! I will conquer the beasts of the earth that try to hurt others. The tongues of liars should be cut out. The eyes, arms, and genitals of child abusers should be cut from their bodies. The pedestals of those who deny human equality from all should be burnt and those that associate with false authorities that allow our human race to suffer. Suicide is a personal choice that I can respect but why not fight. Take the pain and turn this anger toward doing good. On days of good, seek out the activities to make a difference. On days of bad, write about it, think about it, listen to songs about it and then smile…that they didn’t win! WE DID!
I am not scared of death but I am scared to ever become a hostage again or victim again even if it is a victim and hostage to my own scars within. VOICE IT~SHARE IT~But please don’t do it…we need your inner strength to fight for others who are waiting on the delivery of truth we have survived.
1 comment
wvsense, I really like what you wrote. It sounds like something I might’ve said myself once. Pain, anger and all the injustice in the world can be channeled into fighting back.
Or so I thought until I was utterly broken this year. Rage cannot be our only reason to live. Somewhere deep inside we also have to have hope & love otherwise the rage cannot focus itself.
I lost the only thing I loved. Now I’m just a bag of anger with no reason to do anything productive with myself or with the world. I would love to punish all the child molesters, the animal abusers, the rapists & douchebags of the world, but I just don’t see the point anymore since I have nothing to love.
I sincerely wish you luck, though. I hope others are inspired to fix the world also. I did it as long as I could.