How do I hide it?

So I haven’t posted a story or anything yet (That will come later) but I’m pretty damn sure ill be exiting within two weeks. I still need to gather materials and make my final arrangements (If anyone can help me make my helium exit bag I would be eternally grateful…) My problem right now is I don’t know what to do with my girlfriend and my family. My girl is actually outright asking if I’m okay… (we had a fight, so I think she just thinks its from that) and I’m sure my family is kind of picking up on my mood… How do I hide it? I’m smart enough to keep the fact that ill be exiting secret from them, but I still don’t want her and them to worry for these last couple of weeks… I’m perfectly capable of manipulating them… I’ve done it all my life, I’m kind of a selfish lazy fuck like that, but that’s part of the reason I’m going to exit. I’m sick of being such a piece of shit to everyone I know… I bring pain to people around me and the worse part about it is that I toy with the situation so that people pity and love me even more for it. I don’t deserve the love, and the people I love don’t deserve the deceit… I’ve come to terms with the fact that my final action will always be tainted by my laziness and selfishness… but I want my last couple of weeks to be something other then pain and manipulations… how do I change myself for these last two weeks… and give the love, that has been given so freely to me, back… without my black heart corrupting it?