I haven’t posted in awhile… but I’m tired of life. I have about 4 days left until the day I said I was going to do another suicide attempt. Nothing really changed, except I got worse. I’m alone again. Alone right now. Forever will be alone. Abandoned. Used. Toyed with. Messed around with. Lied to. Betrayed. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate everything.
I already know what’s wrong with me. I already know what can help me, but I can’t solve it. I screamed to be saved long ago. Some offered. I believed them. They betray and abandon me just the same. I hate false hope. I’m done. I think the one thing that came from all of it… is that I’m more resolute.
My original 99% or so proof method has been criticized. Someone said I would cause the person who indirectly help me die trauma or whatever it is. I guess I’ll have to think of a different method… which will probably be more painful and slow… with a high percent of failure. I don’t know. I just know, I want to die this very moment in time… so badly.
9 comments
Please don’t, your still wanted here.
Not really.. I can’t really do much to help anyone. I’m pretty useless. And I besides that… idk if I can take it anymore. I just want out of this life of mine’s. It’s getting harder each morning to wake up… I don’t look forward to it much… since more than half the day is spent in total solitude with no one there..
There’s always someone that needs help with something, you just got to find it. I’m alone pretty much everytime after school and I love/hate it. People make me nervous except for people I know.
I see. At least there are times that you love being alone after school and stuff. I don’t really love being alone after going to school or just staying home alone. idk. I can feel the emptiness consume me inside out. I don’t wanna feel that anymore.
@Deep Abyss…if you’re around, message me…
Just remember that there are always people out there that care about you. You may not always realize it but it’s true. You are loved. I lost a friend to suicide last year, he was never really popular or anything, and the funeral hall was set up for probably 75-100 people, which seemed like more than enough, especially since it happened outside of the school year so it wasn’t expected that lots of people from school would show up. Well, by the time we started, they had to open up the sliding wall into the next room, bring in over 50 chairs, and still there were tons of people standing or sitting in the windowsill, people out in the front hallway. This kid was loved. I haven’t gone one day without thinking about him, and knowing that there are other people just like him is horrible. Everyone is loved, and it’s a shame that not everyone knows it. You may not know it right now, but I promise you that you ARE loved. I may not know you personally, but I love you, and I care about you.
Take a look at this site if you’re ever feeling suicidal. Even if you don’t plan on changing your mind, please take 5-10 minutes to read it before you do anything. http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Sometimes I wish I could meet someone like you. Someone who really needs an honest, caring friend.
I got no one in my life and it makes me empty. I’m tired of life too and sometimes I wish I could help someone, be there for them, and then maybe, just maybe, that someone would REALLY care for me.
I know what I want but I can’t get there.
I know the feeling 🙁
I hope things get better for you soon xo
i know how your feeling as i too am going this problem. thfc181@hotmail.co.uk add me