I just watched “Fight Club” for the first time. Guess who took me there? Douchebag ex-boyfriend. 8 months since he dumped me and I’m still his *****. He bought me dinner and then took the schizophrenic girl who hates watching conflict to see “Fight Club”. Afterward I asked him why he thought it would be a good idea, and he said, “I guess I didn’t think about it. I don’t think of you as a schizophrenic girl. I just think of you as Kaylie.” Just like him to use a line like that to excuse thoughtless actions. I cried through a lot of it, but he didn’t give a fuck. I gave him a ride home because he didn’t want to walk across campus in the rain. I’m out of gas and can’t afford more. I’m praying for a miracle to get me to work tomorrow. I hugged him tightly goodbye. I wanted to say “I still love you, but you’re a complete asshole.” I didn’t say that. I have a new boyfriend. He’s boring, and terrible in bed, but at least he respects me and is steady and gives me all the love I want. I wonder if you can have both security and adventure in a relationship. Fuck the exciting, charming guy, see how long he stays around. Anyway, I’m all paranoid that everyone I know now is a figment of my mind, and also afraid I’m killing people in my “sleep”. Maybe I’ll shoot myself eventually, just to get rid of all of it. I wonder why guys are always attracted to messes like Helena Bonham Carter plays in that movie. Girls like me with cropped hair and deep-set emotional issues. It’s true; we are that crazy in bed. Is that legend why men like us? I’m sick of being sexy for the fact that I’m a disaster, though. I have a loving heart, and want to be loved when I’m together. Don’t come over late at night when I call crying. Come over late at night just to see how I’m doing, or ask about work, or for God’s sake, perhaps even come one to me (Like that’d happen). Come on, new boyfriend, if I could ignite your world, perhaps you could cool down mine. My inner fire has nowhere to go and burns me. The people who made that movie completely understand masochism. That chemical burn looks like it could be my new fix.
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3 comments
How do you know your ex didn’t give a fuck or that he didn’t associate you with anyone in the movie. Also no one is boring. If someone seems boring you haven’t given a fuck enough to know or appreciate them. Also sex is what the participants of sex make of it just like everything else a couple does together. If it isn’t working, work on it. From my experience girls with less deep-set emotional issues have just as good sex as anyone else…given everyone has deep-set (redundant when phrase when used with emotional issues) emotional issues. The suicide implication to the effects of the movie Fight Club seems like an action that requires more introspection.
I know I enjoy a little direction in the bedroom. Nothing gets my motor running better than a woman telling me what she’s wanting. Be open open with him; don’t tell him what he’s doing isn’t working for you, but give him direction! When the wifey tells me that’s working or do that again it just makes me want to try that much harder. Communicating during intimate encounters is a great way to increase satisfaction and build a long term unity with your significant other.
Thank you for that advice. It’s really been working, actually. It worked in the bedroom, and in other aspects. I’ve become confiden’t enough to speak my mind when something makes me really happy. It’s working pretty well. I’m engaged. 🙂