I’m still contemplating suicide (I would rather take all the time in the world to make the right decision than to give up and have no other choice). Umm things may be starting to turn around now?
My trauma councilor told me a way to tone down my panic attacks.. so I’m not always freaking out about those anymore.
(even though all day I had a panic attack coming and going and I just about lost it.)
I love him. No I’m not talking about my ex. I feel like.. I fell out of love with him, he’ll always be in my heart but not in the same way. My heart is filled, the spot is taken.
I spent all day with tears in my eyes.
I watched a train on fire. I’ll leave the story for another day.
I smiled a bit today.
Ihavehope-
2 comments
Hello my friend c:
Hello
It is very good that you have seen a gleam of light. That is always an excellent sign. Do not be afraid if at a later moment you still feel bad or low again, it will be normal. You will feel better afterwards.
You havent written much but as per the panic attacks they are beautifully controlled with medication. I dont mean you should start depending on them but specifically having a tablet in your pocket “just in case” it makes you feel safer and not afraid. Even if you dont need to take it. If the doctor has prescribed you meds, tell him you dont want to carry lots of them, just one or two for a day, just in case, as a safety companion, while you let both the Time and the body to heal your current situation. It seems that it was all about an ex loved person or so, but in any case, I am very happy that you are little by little seeing the light again. Spoil yourself with nice company, do little things that make you happy and avoid staying alone as much as you can. Do not expose yourself to sad thoughts, or sad films or sad songs. Nothing of the sort.
hugs
O