I have an essay which is due in 18 hours or so, its 2000 words. I haven’t done anything. I decided that I should do this assignment as I pretty much fail the unit if i dont. I cant focus on any of this crap. I couldn’t even remember how to get into the library resources. My counsellor is referring me to the psychiatrist to get an evaluation and I think at the moment, my functioning level would be pretty low :/
I was standing on the curb today waiting for the light to change to green and i was wondering if it would be such a bad thing if i just walked off the curb. I decided it would be because the traffic was too slow and I would just get injured rather than die. Â I also got another concerned e-mail today from a family friend. It appears that my mum has no problem telling people that I’m feeling ” a bit down” Â lately. I wish one of these concerned people would suggest to my mum that perhaps she shouldn’t try to control my life and make me stay where I dont want to live. I’d rather die than come back here next semester, so thats what I decided. I gave myself an ultimatum almost, if nothing improves then I’m just going to quit fighting. Its so draining trying to live. What has ”living” done for me in the last few months except exhaust me? Getting out of bed is exhausting.
3 comments
I totally relate to this. I can’t really offer any words of advice because I can hardly even help myself, so I just wanted to let you know that I’d read your post.
Hello
Well, procrastination is clearly the result of an apathetic mood where the person has lost the joy that there is in doing certain things. So, you do them by obligation up to the last minute or sometimes you even dont do them at all.
There are a series of reasons that have driven you to that apathetic state. You have made mention of something but that doesnt sound itself as a terrible thing to knock a person down, even though you may be experiencing it just as bad. However, I am optimistic in your case because nothing of what you relate sounds irretrievable.
If you could put down on paper all the things affecting you, that would be a start. Yes, now you will also be procrastinating doing that too, but anyway, do it a bit at a time. Do write a list with bullets and it will definitively help you to start putting the means to solve things. It sounds to me you are overwhelmed by a mix of several things you still havent identified.
regards
O
Getting out of bed is exhausting, but once you stand on your feet it takes effort to feel depressed. You have to live each day one at a time; this sounds very cliche but that mentality will help you deal with the average BS that would otherwise weigh you down.