So many stupid choices. You make your choices for those you love, turning your back on what will make you happy. Then you’re lying in bed all alone on a saturday evening and realise that nobody stuck around to try do what makes you happy.
I realise it’s just me now. With a job a hate, a company that’s failing, a boyfriend who’s never put me first and a best friend who walked away. Alone every weekend because I’ve forced the hands of those who loved me. I’ve made them not need me because I don’t need them – but I do. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want to carry it on my shoulders anymore. I don’t want to… Who cares…
I cried myself to sleep earlier, pains stilled in unconsciousness. No meds can cure life.
“Life is just a little part of what this world will do. It will bring you to the brink and beat the shit ride out of you. And decides just when you’re in or when you’re out, cause when you’re through you’re through.”