No matter what I do I feel empty inside. I don’t want to do what you tell me, I don’t want to do anything, actually. My behavior has been strange lately my emptiness is leaking out and my mask is fading. I used to be able to do this what happened to me? I have work to do so I do it. The end, there no more to me. I feel sorry for my mother the most though, she gave birth to someone without a soul, without light, I don’t know what I am or what I was. Its getting heavier everyday as more emptiness becomes contact. I can feel it I don’t like it either I just want it to end. There is a huge rupture, there is more work, everything is normal why can’t I do this..what is happening to me I’m losing my former self, the one that could fake confidence, the one that could do work right the first time…The one who wasn’t a failure…I want to say sorry to that side of me, it was eaten by the emptiness. I’m kinda jealous though, I wish it would just consume me already, I’m here for no reasons….no motivations…. I feel strange