One more before I try to self medicate the pain away. Thanks for the cyberspace.
=====================================
I know somewhere that’s as cold and lonely
and as empty as Outer Space.
It’s really not that very far,
yet rather hard to find.
Look very deep into my eyes
and see beyond my face,
no GPS nor any map will lead you there,
you might as well be blind.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
If you want I’ll show the way,
if you really dare,
it takes a while, so if we’re going,
we’d better get a start.
For sure this place is fragile tho’,
so I ask you please take care,
this cold and lonely empty spot,
is a place within my heart.
9 comments
Very eloquent. I like your poetry.
Great rhyme scheme. Powerful meaning. I’ve felt the same way so many times… like I’m completely hollow inside. Girlfriends know it well… it’s what eventually sends them packing.
Maybe this is the same w you, FTS… I keep wondering if the loneliness is because nobody wants to come in, or if nobody wants to come in because of the loneliness. Duzzat make any sense?
It doesn’t matter if they want to come in or not… if they want to, I don’t let them. They don’t usually want to, because they know they won’t get far.
yeah I guess it makes sense. They can tell by the loneliness, that it’s there for a reason and they’d prolly be wasting their time. Money may make more money, but loneliness makes more loneliness.
That’s so true. But aren’t there times when you feel like someone is almost there… like if she tries just a little harder she could fill the emptiness? Or are all of them doomed from the start?
Maybe it goes back to the independence thing we were talking about in another thread. Is it our desire to be independent that pushes them away?
oh yeah, definitely feel like some could have succeeded. If they would have just given it a little more time. I have let a couple get real close. Close enough that I was uncomfortable. It just never seems to be close enough for them.
Yah that’s how I felt with some of mine. It was almost like I was testing them to see how patient they could be with me (does that make me a jerk?). But they all quit eventually.
It’s funny, tho. You said it a while back. It’s the mystery & the dark side that draws them in. But when they get too close they freak out & run away.
It’s really hard to explain to someone (i’ve had a few “professionals”) how I want to be close, but then somewhere deep inside I won’t let it happen.
You really must be my long lost brother… or 43rd cousin or something.
Hey when’s the next family reunion??
You summed it up perfectly, tho. I dream of having that perfect relationship where someone knows me inside & out, but whenever it starts to happen, I raise the drawbridge & put up the barbed wire. After my last one, I realized it just aint gonna happen. But I’ve accepted the idea & I’m cool with it.
I’ve actually made a female friend, and it’s fun to hang out with her once in a while… but I know the boundaries now. How about you? Have you considered getting “just a friend” and sticking to it? In many ways it’s better than a real relationship.
I’m so hardened and have such high walls, that even having friends is difficult. Even just guys to hang out with. I dunno…. as I get older that desire for closeness and intimacy gets stronger, and yet my defenses get better and stronger too. That’s one of the struggles that keeps getting worse and worse.