what’s the line in the entertainment biz? “Once more, with feeling!”? Here’s another
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I don’t understand why I feel so bad,
I thought I was over the feelings I had.
There’s no one to talk to or help me out,
I just wish I knew what this was about.
– – – – – – – – – – – – –
It can be so confusing, sometimes IÂ don’t know,
what it is that I do, or where it is I go.
Yes I’m alone, but at times I don’t mind,
it’s just that right now, life is a grind.
– – – – – – – – – – – –
If it weren’t for the music I’d go insane,
I need to get away, go catch a plane.
Somehow it helps to write these words,
I know what you’re saying “That sounds so absurd!”
– – – – – – – – – – –
It’s true that it works and here’s the proof,
I’ve decided to live and come down from the roof.
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Thanks for the cyberspace
FTS
7 comments
i feel like that :/ all the time.
Nice ending! Even though that poem carries such a heavy weight, I get a really positive feeling from the last 2 stanzas. We gotta do whatever works to come down off that roof. Life’s one big confusing struggle, but there are ways to keep from going insane. For you it’s writing. For me it’s reading.
I have found (thanks to that one ex) that writing really does help…. even if it’s just replies….. spending the day Sunday on this site probably saved or at least prolonged, my life…
Does that mean the rope is down? I hope so… you were in really bad shape on Sun. I was too. Not nearly as bad as you were, but this site kept me from losing my mind. I think you’re right about writing …whether it’s poetry, books or just posting on this site… there’s something about it that releases the pressure inside. Your ex was pretty smart.
no….. rope is still there…. in fact, I have a story about that…. once I figure a way to tell you I will
that particular woman, that gave me my first journal….. yeah, she was special….. but of course I f’ed it up….
Ahh, I just found your other post where you “re-created the scene of the crime” with another rope…
Funny off-topic… did you know in parts of Canada it is ILLEGAL to tie a hangman’s noose? Like the very knot itself is a criminal offense. Even funnier… an official hangman’s noose has 13 loops, so in Canada you can tie one with 12 loops and be ok. But if you do that 13th, here come da cops.
There is indeed comedy in this world 😛
I think that there are states here that it is illegal to possess the noose… not sure about the specifics, but I’ve always been careful about that…. in fact the rope in the garage is haning from the rafter, but I am not going to retie the noose until I’m ready to use it… for fear of someone seeing it thru the window and calling the cops….
btw…. until I’m ready….. uh….. the night before last I was having trouble sleeping…. got up in the middle of the night, taped a video segment saying goodbye and that yesterday (tomorrow at the time) was the day….. I was planning another 11 am attempt. I got a phone call at 7:30 am….
that phone call prevented me from making an attempt that day…. not the call itself, but the fact that the caller said they would call back that evening… so I stayed alive in the hopes of receiving one little phone call….. tomorrow might be the day tho….. I’m gonna go donate blood this afternoon at 3pm so it won’t be today