18 years – how long I’ve been alive
3 years – how long I’ve had depression
2 years ago – I started living alone
1 & 1/2 years ago – I met her
1 & 1/4 years ago – I met my best friends
1 year & Â 1 month ago – happiest point of my life
1 year ago- she committed suicide BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHOOSE STOP HER
3 months ago – my best friends died BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHOOSE SAVE THEM
1 week – how long I plan to live from now
She also had depression. She begged me to save her while blood flowed from her wrists. I watched her die.
My best friends were… dogs… both of them. They looked like they were poisoned. Â I watched them die.
I’ve been trying to torture myself for the past months just to make myself feel alive.
The memories are very painful, and it seems I’ve been losing them.
I can’t even remember where she lived, what her last name is, or what were her last words.
But these memories with her are all I have left. If I slowly lose all of them, I’ll simply go mad.
Death is right in front of me, I need help. Don’t pull my hand. I want you to push my back.
*sertraline & metoprolol tartrate are all I have… would they suffice?
1 comment
Dear Zar, sertaline cause increase in heart rate while metroprolol and most drugs ending in -ol decreases heart rate…. so you are killing and curing yourself at the same time? Sweetie, don’t overdose on thoes things medications are unpredictable you might come out alive of it with painful consequences. Plus sertaline will make you vomit hard, and worst is if ataxia gets the better of you… you won’t be able to move while your body is in complete chaos so you might end up dying reluctantly in pain. Zar you are young, I just lost a loveone too last month, I understand how you feel I wanna die too I’m giving myself time and living life in a day-to-day basis. Please try that instead… plus your gf’s death is self-inflicted and not your fault. Pls hang on, as much as i want to push your back I choose to pull your collar so you won’t fall.